"Uh umm, I'm a f-foreign exchange s-student from...uh...the United States. After taking a test in the ninth g-grade...I...Uh...qualified for the exchange student p-program. And n-now I'm a student here f-for a year. It's nice to meet y-you all."
I bowed awkwardly and attempted to remove myself from the front of the class room and to my seat in the back.
"Oh wait, you forgot to tell them your name." The teacher said. The entire class began to laugh. I could feel the heat rise to face.
"O-oh um C-Claire." I stood there for a couple more seconds in case the teacher wanted me to say anything else.
"Well, does anyone have a question for Miss Claire."
Ah no, no why! Please don't ask questions please don-
"I have a question." I looked to the voice that had spoken.
"Good" said the teacher, "go ahead."
"So its clear you know English because you live in the United States and Korean because you're speaking it now, but do you know any other languages."
"Um yes. I know French, Spanish, and Japanese."
"Cool"
"How do you say 'lame' in English?" Someone randomly shouted.
"Oh...uh-
"I have a real question." someone interrupted. "I thought black people where from Africa, not the United States."
Did he really just say that. Why is no one else shocked about this. Ignorant swine. Wait maybe he didn't mean it to be rude. Try to think positively.
"Well, four generations of my grandparents where born in the United States and therefore So was I. Also my mother's side of the family has Native American descendants. You are not completely wrong however, I'm an African American meaning my family at one point had been taken from Africa and moved into the United States."
The boy nodded hid head and continued to write in his notebook like nothing was wrong with asking such a sensitive question.
"What's a hotdog?" I didn't know if I was emotionally stable enough to answer anymore of these questions "like is it a real dog? Like the kind that barks?"
"No it's not a real dog."
I continued to answer stupid questions, nothing of which had anything to do with me. I guess no one cares. No asked what part of the U.S., or how old I was, or what I like to do.
It appeared no one else had any questions and I was allowed to sit down. Great.
Class was dismissed and it was time for study hall. I decided to go to the library. I was so excited about this a couple days ago, but now I'm not so sure. I'm so... just so different from everyone else. Must be my hair or my accent that scares people away.
Everyone here is so skinny and perfect, all talented in some way. Sure I have my smarts, but that's it. I'm not good at dancing, or singing, or robotics, or research, or design, or engineering, or music, or anything. Which it seems like everyone here was good at all of the above.
At home I wasn't the most popular student, but I interacted with the popular kids. You could say I just got along with everyone, Popular or not. I had many friends and lots of people liked me. But it's different here. And I just couldn't understand why. I'm nice and friendly. I'd never do anything to push someone away, but I always try to allow people who want to be in my life, into my life. I'd like to think I'm funny—not lame and I don't eat dogs, so what's the problem.
Ah, maybe it won't be so bad. Someone will befriend me, right?
I waited for that to happen, but I sat alone that day—in study hall, at lunch, in physical Ed. And I continued to sit alone the next day, the following week, and soon it become the month.
It was like I was plagued with some disease. No one talked to me, everyone avoided me. I only got looks and over heard murmurs and comments. This school was wonderful.
One day I decided that maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough. That in order to have friends I need to be friendly. So I sat down at table of not so popular girls after introducing myself and they told me their names in return, but that was it. They didn't kick me out or anything, but it might as well have been like I wasn't even there.
The next day they moved tables. It didn't take much for me to take the hint.
I couldn't handle this feeling. I looked at my feet as I made my way out of the dining hall trying not draw attention to myself. I threw away my un-eaten lunch and ran to the bathroom. It used to be my dream to come here. To enjoy the new scenery and unique Korean culture. To visit shops, try new foods, and meet new people, but so far none of that has happened. I didn't realized that I'd have to do it all on my own and by myself.
I closed the door of the last stall and sank to the floor. I cried. I'd never thought I'd be this much of a misfit—an outcast. I can't stay here, tomorrow I'll put in a request to leave early and go back home away from this unwelcoming high school. Can't believe this is how my senior year has started.
After a while I cleaned myself up and made my way to study hall. I couldn't let my grades fall behind. My teacher told me after only a week I had become the top of my class. Woo-hoo I guess. Lucky me, just another reason for people to hate me.
Wait what's that. In the library there was something in the desk where I normally sit while I study. It was an apple. Next to it was a note.
I saw that you threw away your lunch.
And that was it. Nothing more nothing less. I looked around stunned. I didn't understand how this could happen after having nothing but a toxic experience since I've been here. I looked around and no one seemed out of the ordinary however. Everyone was minding their own business. Who ever left this isn't here now but I'm going to find them. To thank them and hopefully become their friend. Someone is paying attention to me I just have to find out who.
