Fight For Love (August Alsina's Fan Fiction)

FFL: Chapter Twenty-Two

My mum called and Dr.Stevens had a place for us the next day at 2 p.m. 

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I was a little anxious. It's never easy to do that type of things. I wasn't too excited about doing this again. Even if my mother was there with me, I couldn't help but being scared. I was afraid of what Dr.Stevens was going to think about my story. I knew it wasn't her job to judge me, but I felt like that's what was going to happen. I was just not comfortable with the idea of talking to someone that you don't really know about what is bothering you in your life. 

"Calm down, it's gonna be alright." My mother reassured me by taking my hand. 

I nodded my head and took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves, "I know, well I hope." I mumbled as my right leg was still moving up and down nervously.

After ten more minutes, it was finally the time. Dr.Stevens opened the door and greeted us with a warming smile. We stood up and went in her office. She motioned for us to sit on the couch across from her chair. The leather black couch was comfy and the room was well decorated with beige walls, a wooden desk, a mini library and some pretty pictures were hung on the walls. And there was a white carpet on the floor and her only window gave view on the sky.

After I finished to observe, my eyes laid on Dr.Stevens. She hadn't changed since the last we saw her. She was still the beautiful woman wearing glasses with black hair pulled into a perfect bun. She was dressed in a grey business suit that was making her body look good and at her feet she had Louboutin nude heels, that I wanted to steal so bad.

She beamed taking her notepad that was on the round coffee table between us, "Good afternoon. I'm glad to see you two again. How are you ? " She asked looking at both of us.

I didn't know why, but I couldn't speak for some reason. Fortunately, my mum was there to break the awkward silence, "We'd been...normal."

"Hmm... Normal ? What do you mean by it ? " Dr.Stevens asked us raising her eyebrow.

"Well...We're living life, we have ups and downs...Normal." She answered with a shrug.

Dr.Stevens nodded her head, "Okay. And you, Kim ? "

Oh no, not me ! I was really not feeling it, "I'm...Uh... Life is life."

"Okay. I think, it's better if I talk only to you. Miss Johansson, can you leave please ? And if you want, we'll talk after." My mum nodded her head, kissed my forehead and left. Then I was feeling like a lost puppy. Why did she do that for ? Though she did the same thing the first time we had came here. It was just her method, but I didn't like it at this moment.

"You can trust me, Kim. I am not here to judge you, but just to have a conversation with you. You can tell me everything. And if it makes you more comfortable, we can do as before. Lay on the couch, close you eyes and let your heart talk."

I sighed and did as she said. Maybe, it was going to be easier like that. I laid down and slowly closed my eyes relaxing, "How are you feeling right now ? " She asked.

"I don't know." 

"No, I'm sure you know. How are you feeling, Kim ? "

I stayed silent.

"Are you happy ? " 

I shrugged.

"Are you sad ? "

I shrugged again.

"Are you hurt ? "

I hesitated, but then I gave the same passive reaction. I truly couldn't answer to her. It felt like when August was asking me if I still love him. Confusion became my close friend these past days.

"Kim, you need to stop hiding your emotions. You're scared, but you have to do this. It'll only be beneficial. You need to fight your inner demons. What happened for you to stop having specific emotions ? What happened for you to not know how you're feeling right now ? "

"I know...I know I'm confused." I said after a moment of silence.

"Great. And why are you confused ? "

"A lot... A lot happened lately. I am in a situation and in an environment and then it changes before I can even blink my eyes. I don't have enough time to understand one event, and another one it's already erupting in my face. And I'm never ready for all this to happen. So...I'm confused." I answered honestly.

"What are these events exactly ? " She then asked making me want to run away.

"Uh...Can we stop, please ? " I responded with another question.

"Kim, you need to face it. You need to face the reality and your fears. You can't run away from this forever."

I opened my eyes, "But I don't want to ! I'm NOT ready ! " I got up, took my purse and stormed out. I didn't want to continue this conversation. Anyways, I'm fine.

Love is a loophole...

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Let me know what you think about this chapter =)

Thanks for having read !

Sorry for the mistakes.