The week was filled with shitty little dates that Dustin supposedly took me on, each ending terribly might I add. We went couples ice skating, being the wild Australian I am, I was falling all over the place and Denis happened to be the most stereo-typically Canadian guy I've ever met. Regardless to say he played hockey at the mere age of four.
I was actually kind of good at skating but no. Derek had to be a complete tool bag and shove me onto the ice every time he skated by. I doubt Garth's low budget photographer could find a lovey dovey picture of Darwin helping me up because I was scowling the whole time. To be fair though, I tried to shove him in front of the Zamboni as it went by after the rink closed.
Garth finally settled on giving me a day off when Donald proposed taking a selfie together and posting it on our day away from each other to make it seem like we're always together even though if Devon happened to be hit by a cheap looking rental car I wouldn't doubt that our rental car would have blood on it that could be his DNA but who knows? Could have been the taco guy.
[A/N: Burned the shit out of my esophagus just now, my advice is not to. . . It pretty much sucks, just saying. I love hot chocolate too much (this was like two days ago, I am still alive. Its all good)]
I look over to Calum, who'd managed to snag at least four tacos from some of the set up crew.
"Taco Guy!" Luke yelled toward Calum, "We've got a couple of things to sign and throw to the crowd, don't get them all greasy!"
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"C'mon Mikey, have some fun!" Calum yelled over the blaring music, trying to pull me out of my seat.
It's not even a good song. . .
"All I wanted to do today was lay around and cuddle!" I whine, eventually allowing him drag me to the dance floor of the club.
"One dance, and then I promise we'll head back."
What a joke that was.
Not even half way through 'one dance' he'd disappeared and I found him kissing someone's neck at the bar. Not to mention it was definitely a girl he was flirting with. As soon as I found Luke, I couldn't find Calum.
I couldn't even find the girl he was with.
Ashton found us, having volunteered to drive us back to the hotel, he'd decided now would be a reasonable time to head back.
"Where's Ca-?" He begins to ask me but Luke shakes his head, Ashton sighs. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and guides me towards the exit.
"Hey!" Someone yells out the door, running to catch up with us, "Michael!" A waterfall of pin straight black hair shines under the yellowish street light.
"Do you just go from bar to bar?" Ashton laughs upon seeing the Hello Kitty Tattoo.
"I'm actually visiting a friend, who kind of ditched me." Ashley explains.
"How many drinks did Calum have?" Ashton asks, stopping in front of an empty parking spot.
"I don't know, two?" I reply, searching my muddled brain for the answer.
"Why?" Luke asks, shoving his hands into his hoodie's pockets. I wish I'd thought that far ahead, I'm freezing.
And Ashton, who's pretty much prepared for everything, noticed and gave me his burgundy sweater.
"I thought you got rid of that." I laugh and he groans, "Its supposed to be laundry day." He mutters, crossing his arms to try and hide his Ponies Forever shirt.
"Ashton still has his purple shirt too." Luke giggles, avoiding Ashton's hand that was trying to hit him.
"Oh my god, Ash." I laugh, momentarily forgetting that Calum's off somewhere, with our car.
His cheeks flush a few shades darker and he quickly changes the subject, "Calum took the car."
"You're kidding, right?" Luke groans, scanning the area for the crappy car we rented.
"Well we didn't exactly take the invisible boat mobile, now did we?" Ashton snarks, rubbing his hand across his forehead in frustration.
"You guys need a ride?" Ashley inquires casually, as if she wasn't standing here the whole time and happened to be walking by. She's even twirling the keys around her finger.
"No, we're waiting for Jesus to take the wheel. Yes, we need a ride, thank you." Luke replies, feeling the need to make an equally snarky comment but not having anything to say to Ashton.
I'm surprised there's no sarcastic dick remarks being thrown around.
That means they have nothing to complain about, Michael.
Does that mean Calum has nothing to complain about because I'm perfect?
With you, Michael, there's always something to complain about.
Hey! Rude!
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"Tell me again why you own a powder pink Jeep?" Luke complains, squished in between the door and Ashton. Ashley said the passenger seat is only for her purse, and now we're all taking up the backseat.
"Luke, do me a favour?" Ashley asks, voice like honey. "Shut up."
"Or nah." Luke giggles, making a collective groan erupt from the Jeep.
"That isn't cool." Ashton sighs, settling on covering Luke's mouth with his hand for the rest of the drive to the hotel.
"Unless you want me to grease your hair with it, I suggest you keep the spit in your mouth." Ashton mutters sometime later, removing his hand to wipe it on Lue's pant leg before quickly replacing it over Luke's mouth.
An extremely muffled, "That's not what you said last night." is Luke's reply.
"Ew! We were sharing a hotel room last night." I whine, scrunching up my nose at the two horn dogs, "You can't last one night."
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"Michael, are you going to be sleeping here?" Ashton asks quietly, rubbing my arm soothingly like a mother would a sick child.
I sniffle, nodding.
A crash sounded from across the hall making me jump.
"I should probably make sure they aren't killing each other. . ." Ashton trails off, standing u.
He pauses at the door and looks over his shoulder at me, "Are you going to be okay?"
"This is probably the worst birthday I've ever had."
A/N: I've been slacking, I know. I don't have a real excuse either, I'm just lazy(:
Not only have I been slacking on updating, I feel like I've been slacking greatly on my fun facts, so enjoy these:
FUN FACT: A giraffe's tongue is 21 inches, long enough to clean its own ears with.
FUN FACT: In Virginia, its required by law, to keep your bathtubs inside the house.
FUN FACT: Termites have been known to eat twice as fast when Heavy Metal is playing.
FUN FACT: Owls are the only bird that can see the colour blue.
FUN FACT: It was discovered on a space mission that frogs can throw up. (wtf)
FUN FACT: The past-tense of the English word 'dare' is actually 'durst' which I guess means that 'dared' isn't the proper word.
FUN FACT: Not only is The Bible the best-selling book in the world, its also the most shoplifted.
FUN FACT: Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.
Have a lovely day? xx
YOU ARE READING
Daft || Malum
Fanfiction"Don't be daft, Michael," Ashton laughs. "Calum's straight." ⓒ Cover by quantum-fags
