Heavy Love

1-800-HELPME

I could see Keith waiting patiently by the front door of the office. He looked very handsome in his khaki slacks and his black polo shirt. He had his shirt tucked in, so it pulled against his chest and stomach. This man must work out. It doesn’t look like he has abs, but he has large pecks…Oh my gosh, he has man boobs. He has moobs! Granted they are muscle, but they are there. Oh my goodness, all I am going to think about is trying to touch his moobs to see if they are soft or hard. If they are any bit of soft I will forever label him Moobs. If they are hard, I am just going to have to forget about it. Oh who am I kidding? He is Moobs.

“Hey beautiful.” Crap, he spotted me.

“Uh hey.” I could tell that he wanted to hug me, but he stood his ground. Very smart man. “I’m just going to give you the money for you to buy the drink I owe you.” I tried handing him a five dollar bill, but he just pushed my hand down.

“Oh no you don’t. That is not what I said. You are going to have to come with me and pay for the drink yourself.” He looked excited, almost like a child who just won a stuffed animal at the fair.

“You didn’t specify what I had to do. You just said that I had to pay for your drink. So here you go.” I tried to hand it to him again, but this time he back away.

“I know what I said. And it will make me extremely happy if you were the one to hand the money to the bar tender. Now Miss, you wouldn’t want to deprive me of my happiness, now would you?” He stuck his lip out and batted his eyes. Oh my goodness, he actually looks adorable like that. Mr. Moobs looks adorable for once.

“Fine. I’ll go with yo…”

“Ms. Flowers?” Oh crap. I wasn’t expecting for this man to see me. Samuel was stepping out of the front door with his eyes fixated on me again. This man sure does know how to stare. “Who is this?” His eyes switched over to Keith, and for once I was happy that I didn’t have any attention at that moment.

“This is Officer White.” I looked over at Keith, who was still looking at me. The sparkle that was in his eyes and the smile that graced his lips actually made me smile. This fool made me smile. I can’t believe it.

“It’s just Keith right now. I’m off duty.” He walked over to Samuel and reached out his hand to shake hands with him. I could see that Samuel didn’t want to shake hands, but he placed his hand in Keith’s. From what I could see their hands looked as if they were squeezing one another’s hand as tight as they could. Men. “And you are?” Keith was waiting for an answer, but Samuel was taking his dear time answering him. Samuel looked back at me, and I could see some kind of gleam in them. It looked like he was in deep thought.

“Mr. Hollington. I am Ms. Flowers’ boss.” He let go of Keith’s hand and stepped toward me. “I thought you were going home.” It wasn’t a question or as if he was asking if he was wrong for thinking that, it was him saying that I should be home. I know the meaning behind what he is saying. He was saying that I should be home right now, nowhere else.

“Keith and I have prior engagements.” I made sure to slightly squint my eyes to let him know that I am still upset with him. “Which we just so happen to be on our way. So, if you would excuse us.” I grabbed Keith’s hand, which was nice and warm, just like that hug that I shared with Donna earlier.

“Bye…Mr. Hollington.” Keith said with a smile in his voice. What is that about?

“Sarah!” Samuel hollered behind me. It felt weird for him to call me by my first name. “You do have your phone on you, don’t you?” He looked slightly worried, just like Donna had earlier.

“Yes ‘Sir.’” I turned around quickly and pulled Keith right along beside me, before Samuel could say anything else. What is that man’s problem? No wonder why he doesn’t have that many employees. He probably runs them all off.

“What was that all about?” Keith sounded like he had enjoyed what happened.

“I really don’t want to talk about.” I wanted to just go home and hide under the covers. Maybe watch some Supernatural with Donna. That is probably my favorite thing to do now.

“Alright then, but my truck is back that way.” I stopped in my tracks, wanting to kick myself for my stupidity. Keith looked like he was about to die of laughter, which made me feel even worse. “Come on. It is perfectly fine.” I’m not sure why, but I felt the break down coming. I hadThe tears were welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want to let them go, but sometimes we just lose the battle. This is the second time that Keith has seen me cry. He probably thinks I am a mess. He still had a hold of my hand, so he pulled me to him and he wrapped his arms around. I didn’t fight him. I didn’t push away. I just let him hold me as I lost it all in the middle of the crowd.

Depression is a bitch. It will chew you up and swallow you whole. It will pull you down, until you have reached the pit of hell. No one will understand how exactly you feel, even those who are going through depression themselves, because everyone who has depression hasn’t a different kind. There is the kind that I feel. The kind were you feel completely alone. The kind that pushes you to your absolute breaking point, and you have to end it all. There are so many. There are people who can overcome this devil, but there are people like me who will never get rid of it.

For right now, I just enjoyed the warmth of Keith’s hug. I’m not going to complain that he is a complete stranger who is forcing me to buy him a drink. I’m just going to enjoy this one little thing. Is that all I can ask for?

“Let’s go get us something to drink.” I didn’t argue. I just let him pull me along.

***Author’s Note***

Poor Sarah. Depression is not something to play along with. If you are dealing with depression you are not alone. There are people out there who will talk to you. People who have been through what you are going through now. I myself have suffered from depression, so if you need someone to talk to, I am here.

HUGS AND KISSES

TO MY MISTERS AND MISSES