Moon | bts jin x reader

21 ~ Goodbye

Your mood had drastically plummeted overnight. You found yourself blankly staring at your computer on your desk at work. 

You manged to shove the feeling of pure heartbreak down, deep down. You knew it would never work out so you simply buried your feelings...you were happy. 

That was all you felt. 

You were happy for jin. He had met someone he loved.

You sighed and began typing finally deciding to do some work but as time passed you kept making mistakes and you were constantly being scolded by your boss.

"y/n you normally never make simple mistakes like this" your boss said and you frowned "I'm really sorry, I will make sure to fix this right away"

You ended up making more and more mistakes until you found yourself still glued to your desk way past your normal working hours. 

You had worked overtime but you finally finished up and you sighed heavily seeing the night sky through the large office window. You packed up your bag and quickly left the office building. 

Walking outside you looked up at the bright night sky seeing the full moon shining down at you. Seeing the full moon should have brought you nothing but joy knowing what it meant, you could see jin, but as you stared at the sky you found a bitter feeling rise in your chest. 

Jin was probably busy with the girl you saw yesterday and he most likely wanted to see you tonight to announce his wedding. You frowned but you gently smacked your own face "come on y/n, you should be happy for him" you said softly to yourself trying to shake away the negative the feelings. 

But no matter how hard you tried to convinced yourself to go to the lake you ended up outside a small cafe holding a cookie. You had somehow prioritized eating a cookie over facing jin.

You sat on a small bench outside the cafe and you laughed looking down at the cookie in your hands "you're pathetic" you mumbled out knowing that you had ended up here because you were avoiding jin. You were avoiding everything, even your own feelings.

You angrily shoved the cookie in your mouth and chewed it aggressively while you probably looked crazy to people walking by...well you definitely looked crazy, not only because you were probably the only human being who would eat a cookie that aggressively but also because of the tears streaming down your face while you chewed. 

You felt your anger, confusion, sadness, and all your other emotions surface at once and you took it out on this poor cookie. You chewed the remaining bit of cookie and swallowed the food while you began sobbing uncontrollably. 

You for sure looked crazy. 

You continued crying letting out all of your inner frustrations and heart break. Why had you fallen for someone who was literally impossible to be with. 

You cried and cried while people walked by until someone gently touched your shoulder. You looked to the side and your vision was blurry with tears. You rubbed your eyes quickly wiping your tears away and as you could finally clearly see the person sitting beside you on the bench.

A large dimpled smile greeted you.

"now I'm not one to judge but you look actually insane" namjoon chuckled out but you could see the worry on his face. You felt a familiar warmth around him, just like when you were with your friends, even though you had only known him for about a month. You couldn't really explain the feeling, but for some reason having namjoon beside you brought you some sort of comfort. 

Then his smiled faded and he only looked at you with a serious expression on his face "y/n, are you alright" you looked at namjoon while you felt like a weight was crushing your shoulders. The weight of keeping everything bottled up.

Surprisingly you had stopped crying when namjoon had showed up, like he brought a feeling of peace to you. Your eyes were definitely still puffy but you took in a deep breath and smiled bitterly

"no, I don't think I'm alright"

Namjoon looked at you with pure worry on his face. You couldn't help but wonder why he seemed so worried, you had only known him for such a short time and you had only talked to him for a short time every time you two saw each other...well more like bumped into each other randomly. 

"you know you can tell me anything" namjoon spoke softly while you turned to him. You smiled gently and for some reason you also knew that you could tell him anything. For some reason you knew he was worth trusting, just like when you met your other friends, you just knew that you could trust them. 

"you know I always loved the moon" you spoke and looked at the sky and namjoon looked at you confused. 

"the moon always brought me this feeling of comfort, especially the full moon. But tonight, seeing the bright moon...I feel nothing but pain and sadness knowing what tonight brings" you knew you probably sounded very vague and a little crazy. 

"namjoon... you know I think I really am an idiot. I fell in love with someone that I can never truly be with and tonight I have to go to see him again. But I know that this will be the last time we see each other, because I know that after today it will be set in stone" you paused when your eyes got teary.

"it will be set in stone...that we can't be together. That he will be with someone else and I'll have to watch him leave. But I kind of want to be selfish right now...I really want to be selfish and just stay here and watch the sun rise instead of facing reality. Facing the reality that we can't ever be together" you spoke softly while a tear escaped from your watery eyes. 

"go to him y/n" you turned to namjoon and you were surprised to see that his eyes were teary. You wondered what he meant but then he spoke again.

"go, you will regret it, not being able to say goodbye" your heart clenched at his words, you knew that namjoon was right. No matter how much you wanted to be selfish and run away you couldn't bring yourself to leave jin waiting for you.

You couldn't leave him without saying a final goodbye. 

You had to go or you would regret it.

You quickly got up while looking at the large full moon. You gently smiled and turned to namjoon "thank you" then you ran at full speed. 

"I'm sorry and goodbye...little moon"