English Rose - liam gallagher fic

34. how to disappear completely

After sleeping on what to do about the Liam problem for a couple of nights, I decided to bite the bullet and confront Liam. I got the bus over to his house, where we were going to go to the park for a walk out. I didn't have a clue how I was going to bring it up, I just knew I had to be tactful so as not to disrespect his feelings.

"Hiya," he said, walking out the door as I arrived outside his house. "Saw you coming down the road."

"We going to the park then?" I said, nodding my head over to the nearby gates.

"Yeah," he nodded, joining me on the pavement as we started walking over.

Nothing was really different in our conversation but I felt extremely awkward. I felt like it was hanging over me, but I just couldn't seem to find the right gap in the conversation to do it. We were jumping from topic to topic almost as if we both knew something was up but were doing the absolute most to avoid it.

I looked up at Liam to the sun shining down at him through the trees, glowing off his brown hair and I thought this was the moment I had to mention it. I felt disgustingly guilty; it was a rare moment in which Liam looked completely content, and here I was about to shatter it into pieces.

"Shall we sit down for a cig?" I asked him, gesturing my arm over to a little bench by the side of the path and he nodded before walking towards it.

"I'm so tired me," he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "Went out to play footy with the lads this morning."

"Erm, Liam," I said tentatively in a soft voice as I lit my cigarette.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a bit of an awkward question?" I said nervously. It felt like with every word I was getting colder, feeling my hands begin to shake with anxiety.

"What?" He said, looking up clearly worried.

"There's literally no decent way to ask this," I deliberated before taking a deep breath. "Have you got feelings for me? Just because Noel said you did but I just needed to hear it from you because I've been really stressing over it the last few days and I just didn't know what to do at all because Noel said we necked on and-"

"I do yeah," he mumbled, his head bowed under the guise of lighting the cigarette between his lips as he interrupted my rambling.

"Oh," I simply said, not knowing how else I could reply. I had never planned as far as actually getting my answer.

"I'm not going to lie to you Holl," he sighed, leaning back against the bench at blowing his smoke upwards into the air, but there was hope in his voice that was like torture for me. "You're fucking fit as fuck, sound as fuck and the only girl ever met whose ever actually give me a run for my money. I'm "

"I'm seeing Graham," I said quietly, lowering my voice to just above a whisper. I don't regret any of the decisions I'd made with regards to which boy I chose, but it killed me to tell him this knowing how much it was going to hurt him.

"What?" he said, looking at me, his expression unreadable. "When did that start again?"

"Like a few days ago," I admitted. "The day before we're supposed to have necked on."