Not even me?

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617 words, kinda nice maybe? idk it was fun writing after the actual attention i have gotten. thank you <3


Tuesday. more time to bury yourself in work, takeout and depression hadn't exactly helped your already fucked mental health get any better. at this point there was so much built up anxiety, you looked forward to the screaming just as much as you did seeing alex. your messaging had gotten pretty slow as you hadn't gotten any sort of confirmation of him being alive in soon 24 hours. wether he would show up today was something you'd rather not think about.

surprisingly, even though you woke up at around 4 pm getting up took you about two hours, trying to fall back into sleep and checking your phone being the major delays. not bothering showering you started working right away, finishing a piece you'd started yesterday.

you worked for a few more hours, ate some pizza, slept a bit, and woke up from your phone buzzing. you could pretty much feel the built up grime on your body and got up to check your notifications before stepping into a nice, refreshing shower. but to no one's surprise the universe wasn't exactly on your side. 


11:27 pm

shit

fuck

2 new instagram notifications:

@imallex: still up for today?

hmmm???? im here idk u coming? r u even ok?


FUCK FUCK FUCK ok this is it people, this is not a drill. you jumped up, sent a quick "omw", shot down a glass of water, doused your armpits in deodorant and grabbed your coat. less than five minutes later you could see the bench and a skinny, obviously freezing boy. 


"MATE I'M SO SORRY I FELL ASLEEP-" startled, alex looked up from his screen and right away a massive grin covered his face.


"nah it's ok, glad you came after all"

"yeah thanks you too" you blushed.

"ah, oncoming train, you gonna-" before he could finish the sentence his voice was drowned out by the train and your almost panicked (louder than ever may i add) scream. you had stood up and was now on your tiptoes in the one inch snow, weraring converse that were getting wetter and wetter. 


you turned around and were met by the most heartbreaking look from alex. he looked concerned, awkward and scared at the same time. your heart dropped and you sat down next to him letting out a small, involuntary sigh.

"sorry i- i'm a little out of it today. not doing great on my own."

"oh. i see. you wanna talk about it?"


"not really" you both looked down at your feet, yours now soaked in ice-cold snow water. the situation now painfully awkward you decided to give some sort of explanation.

"it's not about you, i just don't think anyone knows me well enough to give me any helpful advice right now."

"really? not even me? i feel like i know you so good though??" you looked up at him and you both chuckled. silence again. you were both shaking from the cold and when your nose started running alex said:

"look,  we're both freezing we should be inside right now, maybe we-" overcome by your insecurity and the dissapointment of the whole thing you interrupted:

"you're right, sorry, i'll see you next week maybe? sorry i was late this was a stupid idea from the start we-"


"y/n calm down i was gonna ask if you wanted to come to my place, have some tea maybe? get you out of those converse?" you took a small, but deep breath.

"yeah. that- that would be nice. sorry."

alex just stood up and grabbed your hand. being dragged off towards his building, you suddenly became very aware of how unfresh you were.

"i live just over here, George is out so you don't have to worry about any drunks interrupting us again" you giggled, blushing from him holding your hand.


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