•°.poetry.°•

¶blurry faces¶

no glasses on
i'm wandering around
blurred faces wherever i look

i like it

not the fact that i can't really see anything that's too far away
but more that i can't see the people clearly

can't see the edges sharp as knives
that make them human
can't see the faults and imperfections

all i see is blops passing by
it's beautiful

that all comes from my desire to not get in touch with them
i am too up in my head to worry about their problems
and too selfish to risk myself by trying to help the people with their problems

when you look at someone's face and into their eyes, which are to me not only doors to the soul but also hold a small universe of their own,
everything suddenly becomes real

you can't lie while looking at someone's face and into their eyes
when they are hurt you can see the pain in their expression
and when they are in love you can see it too

once you really look, you can't unsee
all walls gone - this is the real game now

but there are some people that i want un-blurred; two in thousands that is
those people are just so beautiful and -not perfect, no, but perfect messes- that i can't help my desire to see them

with all their sharp edges
miscolourations
messy hair
kind of fucked up teeth
body that they feel like isn't good enough
but again, those are two in thousands

when someone is so very clear to me
it feels like everything else fades away when i look at them
we're in our own small bubble and nothing is more important than preserving this very moment forever

the only problem is, that those are also the only people i really care about
i've always been told oh how compassionate and gentle i was but i've come to realize that
that's a blatant lie
i do not care about the problems of people i've just met or will never meet again
i do not want to help every person
i do not want to save the whole world

it sounds so very selfish -which it is, not gonna lie-
but are you really that different?

when you say "i am so sorry for you!" do you always mean it?
when you say "i just want to help you however i can" do you really mean it?

because i sure as hell don't
i just feel pressured by everybody's expectations and the value that a helping hand has in today's society
which forces me to say things i don't really mean

in reality, the people i want to help are just myself and the un-blurry faces
my oh-so-pretty catastrophes
my never-ending beauties of doom

let me see you
let me help you
let me save you from this cruel world
and take you away into my own little universe
where nobody but us matters