Just Jack

Part One: Chapter Nine: Just A Kiss

“It's good to be back.” I say, breaking the silence and looking into her eyes. I open the door and step out, lifting my backpack with me as I do, it's heavy, filled with undone homework. She stretches her head across to say goodbye.

     “Good luck today,” she shouts to me. I walk away but not too far, she call's me back. A few students notice her yelling my name and turn to look at me. The whispers begin. He's back! He's not dead! Oh my God, look how skinny he is!

     “You forgot your lunch!” She says, holding a brown paper bag filled with a couple of sandwiches, an apple and a candy bar. There's a few dollars rolled up inside the bag too, incase I wanted anything from the cafeteria. I remember a time, not so long ago, when I would keep this lunch money and save it up to buy diet pills. Today, I think I'll actually use it to buy something.

     I look around before returning to the car window and take the bag from her. Without even thinking of it, like it was a reflex, I kiss her lightly on the cheek. Realizing what I've done, as if it was an over use of emotion, I step back from the car. She smiles awkwardly. I haven't kissed my mom in so long, even when I came back from Saint Clare's all I got was an awkward hug. Speak Jack, say something! Students are looking. Laughing.

“Goodbye,” I say, and turn to face the school.

     I watch as the car drives away and soon it becomes a part of all the other cars trying to edge away from the school. A cloud covers the sun and I soon realize that choosing to wear a light t-shirt was a bad idea. Goosebumps travel up my arm's and a shiver creeps down my spine like a slithering snake. The sudden coldness urges me towards the school doors, past all the loitering teens with their whispers. I even hear a faint ''Hey Jack!'' as I dash by a group and enter the school.

     It smells the same- the school hallways. Its like a mixture of overuse of deodorant from the boys, perfume from the girls, a freshly cleaned floor smell and the ever beautiful smell of an old, dirty gym bag. Its a smell that everyone in Bridge Bay High has gotten used to. It reminds me of the smell from the hospital. The clinical smell, its distinctiveness.

     Maybe the hospital and the school aren't so different after all. The nurses are just like the gossiping students. Then again, once I gave the nurses a chance, they were actually okay. Maybe I need to do the same here too. Perhaps the students that mock and tease me, have their own troubles, their own 'Martin Gome'.

     I take in the sights. Not much has changed in my two month absence. Nerds are still being shoved into lockers, the janitor is still secretly sipping from the flask that he stores in the hidden pocket of his overalls. There's still that guy that insists on skateboarding down the hall. Yet, something is so wrong with the image before me. Something is missing, something I can't quite place. It isn't until I stroll into the cafeteria at lunch time, after a long morning of classes, that I realize what it was.

Or who it was.

     It is an unnerving sight. She sits alone, the power of her red, head cheerleader uniform has been taken away from her. She wears a heavy, dark green coat like what a soldier would wear. Her hair is not pulled up in a tight pony tail, instead it hangs to her shoulders, dark roots showing. What has happened to her? It wasn't but two weeks ago when I saw her on the beach that day, still all powerful and full of taunts. She picks through her lunch relentlessly. Mandy Crenshaw- what happened?

     I walk slowly towards her table, my brown, paper lunch bag in my hand. She doesn't notice me until I sit in front of her and drop my bag onto the table. I don't know why I am doing this. She never gave me any kindness in the years that I've known her. Yet, I can't stand to see someone who once had so much control and hope, sitting alone like this. She looks up and drops her fork. She bites her bottom lip, turns her head away and shakes it before speaking to me.