The Alpha and the Vigilante✔️

Chapter 39

He lowered his face into my neck. He ignored the blood that coated it and sank his teeth into me, causing me to let out a low groan.

Thank you, I mumbled as I let the darkness soothe me.

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One week later

I chugged from the vodka bottle, ignoring the slight burning sensation. I offered it to Gwen, who gratefully took my lead and chugged some of it herself.

Gwen coughed after the gulps, and held it out to Rose, who also took a few sips. Rose handed it back to me and I finished the bottle on my own.

Lily happily sat on Rose's lap, completely oblivious to the pain Gwen, Rose, and I all felt.

Since Carter's death, us four were inseparable. We all felt his death profoundly, especially Rose, who was inconsolable. After the funeral, it seemed like she slightly made more peace with her mate's death, but any idiot could see the amount of pain she was in.

Gwen had been best friends with Carter since they were pups. They had literally grown up doing everything together. She punched 7 holes in the wall after finding out about his death.

Rose didn't want to stay in the house she used to share with Carter alone, and I didn't blame her. She slept on the Pack House couch, Gwen slept in the recliner, and I slept on the floor. We had been doing that for the past week. Rose woke up screaming more often than not, causing little baby Lily to start crying immediately.

I often held the baby while Rose was sleeping, showering, or otherwise occupied. She had Carter's eyes and nose.

I knew the only thing holding Rose together was her trying to be strong for her baby. That, and we drank copious amounts of alcohol every night until we passed out. Getting drunk was the only way I could sleep. Even then, I woke up often, often times dreaming of Carter's lifeless eyes looking back at me as he died in my arms. I didn't tell Rose about my dreams. Gwen knew, and she often had her own nightmares about it. Jax was also dealing with his own pain regarding Carter, after all, they were both Pack Leaders, and stayed away from us. Cain was busy dealing with pack affairs, and wasn't around for a majority of the day.

When he came back late at night, he would cradle Lily and sit on the floor with me. I could tell he didn't approve of our excessive drinking, but he kept his mouth shut about it. He was handling Carter's death the best. I assumed he was used to pack members dying. I couldn't imagine having to feel like this every single time a pack member died, but Cain assured me that it would hurt less every time.

Right now, it felt like the pain would never stop.

Guilt consumed me every time I saw pain flash in Rose's eyes every time she thought about her mate, which was always. Every time I held little Lily, my heart clenched in pain and guilt.

"I'll get another bottle," Gwen got up from her position on the floor and went into the kitchen. Jax had been making sure to restock our alcohol supply, even though I knew he was taking Cain's side on the anti-alcohol position.

"I have to go to the bathroom, will you hold Lily?" Rose asked and held out the sleeping baby.

I nodded, accepting the pup, who was wrapped in a small fur blanket. Cain made it for Lily and gave it to Rose after the funeral. It was like the baby knew it was from the Alpha, and she fell asleep every time she was wrapped around in it.

Lily woke up from Rose handing her to me, and she stared at me with her big blue eyes, so full of innocence and wonder. I bounced her gently, and she giggled. She loved being bounced or rocked.