Paparazzi Girl

28. Not The Girl

Don't stop.

"You do?"

"Yes. Do you?"

I can try, Kat. I'm trying. I'll keep trying.

"Ever since we've gotten together, nothing has gone the way I thought it would." He was caught by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not the girl you should be with right now. It wasn't me in those papers. I'm not that "mystery girl" everyone thinks I am. And I hate it, Xavier. I hate it when people ask me about it and I don't know how to respond because I wasn't even there. I love you so much and I know you find it hard to believe but I do, and it hurts."

"It's over now, Katrina."

"Is it?"

"Of course," he said, pulling her hair back.

"So then why can't you look at me the way you look at her?"

I'm trying. "She's not in my life anymore, Kat. Believe me. You're the one for me."

He hadn't seen her in weeks and whether he wanted to admit it or not, it was driving him crazy. He missed her. He missed her smile, her eyes. Some days, he couldn't stop thinking about her even when he was with Kat and he hated it more than anything.

"Xavier, why do you keep lying to me and to yourself? You have to stop."

He sighed. Why was she always right? It was hard to accept.

"Because, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want people to be so worked up on something that never was. I wouldn't do that to you."

Her sadness seemed to subside as she smiled slightly at the ground. Xavier couldn't help but imagine her being Stella. It was so easy to switch them. They looked so alike, just that Stella was... unique.

No, stop. Remember what she did, remember what she did... Don't think about her. Push her out. Forget her. It's for the best.

Kat breathed in deeply, looking out at the plain scenery that surrounded them. Fake grass mixing with trees that had been planted somewhere else and were brought over as a decoration. They were at an old park where not many people seemed to visit. Their hotel wasn't far. Just a few blocks and they would be there.

"The girl. The one in the picture. Is she the paparazzi girl?"

He looked down at the grass. "Yeah, that's her."

"Why didn't you say anything? You wouldn't have to be here with me. You'd be with her, actually happy."

"It doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and the whole thing just wasn't gonna work out. And I am happy."

"Not the kind of happy you should be. Just go back and make it work out. You can't just throw what you guys had away. It was so special. God, even I could see it."

He looked at her in hesitation. She couldn't be talking seriously. She was the girl that wanted all the attention. This wasn't who she really was. She was... well... Kat. The one who drove him insane and wouldn't let him do anything without her knowing about it. The one who drove all the boys insane.

"What?" He wasn't sure he had heard her right.

"I know you think I'm annoying and that I'm controlling and beautiful and fit just for you. And that might be true. But everybody saw the way you guys looked at each other. There was so much connection. That's something I wanna have when I find someone I really like. Maybe even love. I wanna be a reflection of your relationship with her when I find that right person. I don't even understand why you're still standing here talking to me. I love you but this isn't going to work. We both know it. Go and find her. Make things right. Because no one will ever come around that will make you as happy as she did. So just go. Don't let time pass you by anymore."

He couldn't be hearing right. He was dreaming. He would wake up soon. Maybe even be back with Stella. Maybe it was all just a dream.

"Xavier," she looked into his eyes, seeing that he was distracted, "Go. Don't wait anymore. Go!"

After everything she did, go back? After all the pain? After everything she had put him through?

The color of her eyes flashed through his mind. Green. His heart ached.

And that's when he finally moved, hugging her before literally running with all his strength. He was going to make this right. He wasn't going to let it end like this. Even if she had moved on already, he would at least know they were on good terms now. He needed to see her. Hold her. Anything that related to her.

He needed her. God, how he needed her. And hopefully, she still needed him.