The Desire Variable - Vol. I

【17】Never Have I Ever

I listened and watched as they all played the game, taking sips, asking each other follow-up questions... When finally, someone proposed something I could drink to, I gladly took my shot, not thinking of the consequences.

I'd accidentally confessed to having never been in love.

When I put my bottle down, I noticed they were all looking at me with curious eyes. Dakota, who had asked the question, was the first one to say something, a barely perceptible sadness in her voice. "Andy, you've never been in love?"

I looked at them, not knowing what to say. Maybe I could lie and pretend to have only taken a sip at the wrong time, but I knew the look on my face right now would be proof enough I was lying.

As much as I'd wanted to be in love, I'd never truly been. Even with my little experience, I knew I had never loved any of my boyfriends. Of course, I had had some fond affection for them, and I still did, but I was quite certain the overwhelming feelings that so many books, songs, and movies described as love had never been a part of my life. I'd never longed for someone, needed them, desired them to such an extent. The breakups had never been as heartbreaking as I'd imagined it would. I had been told 'I love you' and I'd said it back; sometimes to feel normal, sometimes because I thought I meant it.

Dakota was still looking at me, waiting for my answer. "I'm okay, you know," I said, feeling like they were treating me like a terminally ill patient. "I've just never felt that way about someone, but it's all good. I still have time, and if it never comes, that's okay too," I argued, trying not to sound too defensive.

"Yeah, you're right," Dakota agreed, dismissing the whole thing with a hand gesture. The atmosphere was a little darker now, though, and I didn't understand why everyone was so affected by my revelation.

It was Soo's turn, and she quickly found something to ask, to change the subject. "Never have I ever joined the Mile-High club," she proposed while signing.

Jay drank, and so did Dakota. We all turned to Julia, waiting to know if her fiancée had done it with her, and she blushed under our merciless gazes. Embarrassed, she brought her glass of wine to her lips and drank from it.

"Okay, you guys have to tell us the story," Tammy demanded.

"Please, no," Julia objected. Oliver and I exchanged an amused smile at the situation, then turned back to the poor woman.

Dakota shrugged her shoulders, and a proud smile grew on her lips. "That's actually how we met," she revealed. Our jaws dropped, and all the heads turned to her. She didn't seem to want to add anything, so a few people began to protest.

"Ok, ok," she complied, giving an apologizing look to her blushing fiancée. "So, I was coming back from a New York trip, about three years ago. And I ended up seated next to this beauty right here," she recalled, gesturing at Julia. "I could tell she had been crying, and as we spoke, she eventually explained she and her boyfriend had split up, and she was going back to Seattle to spend some time with her parents. Pretty women crying are my weakness, so I made it my duty to comfort her before we landed. At some point, she admitted to having never been given an orgasm, so I obliged, in the tiny bathroom of the plane," she concluded with a triumphant smile on her lips.

"I can't believe you told them all this," Julia protested, her face red with embarrassment. Dakota bent and whispered something to her ear, making her blush even more if it was possible. Julia nodded, sending her fiancée a shy smile, and they both turned back to us.

"So, how was it?" asked Soo.

"We are engaged now, so I guess she did orgasm," Dakota bragged.

"I meant sex on a plane," Soo-Hyun clarified, rolling her eyes.