𝗠𝗨𝗧𝗘 ❪ 𝒋𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒚 ❫

chapter ocho

sometimes i just feel like... lost.
* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ

jack| 7:00am

I sat in my room looking out the window. I didn't care I had to be ready for school in 10 minutes.
didn't care that I have bloodshot eyes since the night I ran away from my fears. Which might I add was three days ago

my fears of staying with the boy and then I'm alone

I hate being alone

People promise you things for no reason

My father promised to not leave me alone, and he left
My mother promise if anything is wrong I just have to tell her that
I did, when I was seven, and I told her I was getting hurt by her boyfriend who was my step dad. She didn't believe me and she kept him around.

I'm sick of promises, because I'm always hurt in the end. I'm just scared, I'm scared of everything. Scared of not being enough, not .. good enough it smart enough. Not attractive enough. Like what can I do to make people stay by me.

I need just someone- I reach over to check the caller ID hearing my phone ring. I see it's Zach, I silence my phone and ignore 100missed calls and 20missed text messages from him and everyone else.

I glance back out the window as voices are heard downstairs. I don't bothering moving from my spot
I didn't care that I haven't eaten in three days
I don't care that I been in this spot for three days straight.

"Jack open up you have to eat" Ava yells on the other side of the door. I get up and walk to my private bathroom crying silently.

I ignore pestering for me to let her in, because I learned she would go away soon.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
「SLIGHT TRIGGER
WARNING」

I pick up a knife I kept in my room and slice my arms watching the blood ooze out. I don't bother checking my phone as it rings again.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
「SLIGHT TRIGGER
WARNING OVER」

I just sat on the bathroom floor with my first aid kit.

Zach will soon forget about you don't worry
You don't deserve him anyways
You deserve to die alone

zach| 6pm

I sat in bed wondering where Jack is and if he was ok. I know I shouldn't be too worried because he's not even my boyfriend

you would like to be though

no- "ZACH pay attention to me" Amber says as she tries getting on top of me. I pushed her slightly off considering I'm not even into her.

"come on zachy-" she says in her annoying voice as she tries pushing herself on me even more.

I push her off further and she ends up on the floor. To be honest I didn't even mean to push her that hard.

I hold out my hand for her "I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to fall" I say sincerely as she just scoffs getting up and leaving.

"Fine be a bitch see if I fucking care" I reply angrily as I fall back onto my bed.

I stare at my phone waiting for jacks call that soon never comes.

I decided to call him wanting to at least hear his voice. Three days feels like forever without Jack by my side. The call soon goes to voicemail. The voicemail ends up being full so I hang up clueless if he's ok or not.

A tear falls as I grab my papers and try and finish a song I been writing. Since I met Jack I felt the need to write my feelings down and it fits for a song. I just decided to continue writing songs behind everyone's backs.

'Even though you ain't mine, I promise the way we fight
Make me honestly feel like we just in love
'Cause, baby, when push comes to shove
Damn, baby, I'm a train wreck, too
I lose my mind when it comes to you
I take time with the ones I choose
And I don't want a smile if it ain't from you, yeah'

I put my pen down and decided to text daniel. I need a distraction, like I need to just hang out with a close friend.

Dani: what do you want bro

Zach: fortnite?

Dani: so you can win and rub it in my face on how much I suck at the game...

Zach: yes?

Dani: yeah no.

Zach: Daniel..

Dani: what's going on bro

Zach: I think I'm falling love with Jack

Dani; Bahahahahah I JEW IT YES

Dani: fuDGE my spelling is horrible I tell ya

Zach: no kidding, but is it that obvious

Dani: mhm bro, but obv not to him

Dani; so why is this a problem tho

Zach: I think I did something wrong .. to make him not answer my call or text

Dani: get dressed, we are going to a party

Zach: I'm not going

Dani: yes. U need to get ur mind off the topic

Zach: fine I'll be ready in 30

Dani: gotcha, see u bro

I turn off my phone and get dressed in a black tank top and black ripped jeans.

Oh boy i hope this helps getting my mind off of Jack.

~ ~
might updating again
after posting this very chapter