Trust ➸ Jelena (major editing)

1

I sat in my seat, shifting my pencil around through my fingers as I stared down at my desk in defeat. I hated math and I'm sure a lot of people would agree with me. I come to find the subject so draining having to sit there and listen to the teacher explain a new formula that I know that I will never use in my entire life. Math seemed useless for me but that is my opinion of course.

I want to go into Arts in my post secondary studies. I do love drawing, designing and while listening to music, I often write my own song lyrics. Poems are what my song lyrics become. I'd like to say I have an artistic mind but my parents disagree with my ambition.

They push me into math classes every year because they know I excel at it. But it doesn't mean that I actually do enjoy it. My parents say that I should consider being an engineer or something in that field. They don't want me to lose this so called talent that I have. I focus only on passing and nothing more.

Arts have a special place in my heart. I take drawing ad music classes to spread and test my creativity. I do like a good challenge I must say. My favorite Arts teacher, Miss Chantel, is always one to admire my work and guide me. She thinks that I could become someone very successful one day, but I doubt ever being that. Though, it is nice to know that someone believes in you and your abilities.

I wouldn't know what to do with an Art degree. Become a writer? Painter? Fashion designer? Interior designer? I always liked designing my own room...

From the corner of my eye, my math teacher stood up from her chair with a stack of papers and started passing them around to the students. When she came towards me, she settled the packet on my desk and continued standing in front of me. I glanced up, seeing her staring at me with concerned eyes. She then kneeled down next to my desk.

"Selena, are you feeling okay?" She spoke with a concerned tone like her facial expression had shown. I know she wanted to help me, but there is no way that I'm about to tell my problems to her. Teachers don't deserve to have a students problems weighing on their shoulders.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry if I look...distracted," I spoke out. I knew my eyes were sad and I knew I couldn't hide it. This week, I really wasn't good at hiding my emotions. I couldn't even smile my way out of my problems.

"If you say so. If you need someone to speak to, I'm always at my desk," she smiled softly and walked off behind me to pass the rest of the packets to the over students. She was nice but I didn't want to trust her. I wouldn't want her to check in on me everyday. It would get me really annoyed and regretful.

I finally snapped out of my thoughts and grabbed my packet in hand and slid it into my binder. I'll do my homework later, my brain hurts. I told myself.

My best friend sat beside me and she was probably the only one in class who was doing the work that had been assigned. She was a good student. She always made sure to do everything that was assigned because she knew it would help her in the end to get good grades. She wanted the chance to enter in any post secondary school. I always admired her for perseverance like that. She had a great mindset. It's inspiring.

For the hour that I was in this class, I was lost in my thoughts and observed others. The teacher took a seat in chair with her coffee mug in hand and started telling people to be quiet.

"Keep your chatting to a minimum, please," She shouted out at everyone. Shaylen had her earbuds in.

My math class resembled to a zoo. You would think seniors would take things more seriously but they don't. That's who they are and I cannot change that. I wish I could...

The jocks are gathered at the back of the class - just like you'd expect them to be. My boyfriend sat there. My distant boyfriend. We hadn't been on good terms ever since after New Years. I would like to think that I can trust my boyfriend but I have a hard time finding that feeling inside me. I haven't spoken to him in a solid three days and it's been killing me.

Then, we have the so called popular girls as they like to call themselves. I don't really pay attention to them because why should I? They like to cause drama with other students and it's something I'm not interested in.

"Selena?" I felt someone nudge at me. I turned to see Shaylen with her earbuds out with her eyes wide. I could tell she was slightly annoyed with me.

"What?" I responded blankly.

"Can't you hear me? I've been trying to catch your attention for the last minute," she placed her pencil down and sat back in her seat.

"Sorry. I was out of it," I explained but I'm sure she knew. She knew I wasn't okay. It's hard to hide my emotions from Shaylen. She knew me too well.

"I can tell," she chuckled slightly. She turned her frown upside down. "You're too quiet. Is everything okay at home?" I've had a history of problems at home and they all have been resolved but I knew what Shaylen was getting to. She never was one to force me to speak but she sure knew how to hint at it. She knew exactly how to make me open up to her. I know I should be able to tell her anything but the thing is, I don't like drowning my friends in a puddle of my issues.

"Things are good at home," I gulped nervously and looked back down to my desk. I taped my fingers against my desk. It's like I had to let it all out. I couldn't contain my emotions in anymore. My brain couldn't hold this problem in any longer.

"And Alex?"

"It's been three days, Shaylen, three freaking days." I bring my hands to cover my face and I sighed.

"Three days?"

"What am I going to do with him?" I shake my head in disbelief. This boy had a toll on me. He sure was imprinted on my heart thats for sure. Shaylen sat there thinking, thinking about something that could possibly help me out. But she she shook head and crossed her hands to her chest.

"I don't know. I really don't know..." Her tone is sad. As she was about to speak once again, we heard laughter behind us. We both took a look and Alex was there laughing along with his new friends. He laughed so hard you could see his beautiful smile with those perfect white teeth. God do I ever miss laughing with him.