The Heart Exchange

Chapter Five

I gifted them both a nod. "I'm good. That was pretty tame compared to usual. Thanks, Kee,"

"No problem."

She smiled and linked her arm through mine, directing us back towards the entrance. Her and Toby both walked me to English, offering me words of encouragement the entire time.

"Kick ass in there, baby girl," advised Toby, throwing me a wink.

Nikita was much more civilised in her motivational statement. "That was a minor set back and look how well you handled it? If you feel overwhelmed just take a moment to yourself."

I nodded. "Thanks, guys. You really are the best."

I headed towards class and spotted Ethan in an instant. He was sat at our table and smiled upon seeing me, offering up a simultaneous wave. I acknowledged his greeting with a warm smile before heading towards Jake and his posse, feeling thoroughly exposed on my approach.

"Jake?"

He turned his head at the sound of his name, though failed to keep his smile intact when realising it was me who required his attention.

"Maddie! I'm so sorry about before. I wasn't thinking."

"Please don't apologise, Jake. It's me who should be offering you one. I overreacted. I sometimes do that. Say things that I don't really mean."

"But I could've hurt you. Really hurt you," he insisted, looking genuinely distraught. "Kevin was supposed to catch it but-"

"Please don't feel bad," I pleaded, ignoring the crowd we had seemingly attracted. "I was wrong for calling you an asshole. I'm sorry."

He cracked a smile, holding his hand out in a peace offering. "We good?"

"We're good," I replied, shaking his hand and backing away on a sure smile.

As I approached Ethan, he shot me a questioning look and held out my chair for me. "You called Jake an asshole?"

I blushed bright red. "Yeah. I overreacted to something."

"What happened?" he asked, sounding strangely protective.

Before I could deny his kindness, Miss. Clark walked in, ready to start.

****

Throughout the lesson, I got the sense I was being watched. I did my best to ward off the overpowering anxiety bubbling in my stomach and eventually took to doing one of Caroline's self-help activities in order to do so. I mindlessly doodled hearts in the back of my notebook, concentrating wholly on the finer details. Some were basic, others were more in-depth and after about five minutes, I felt my nervousness shift. My drawings took up an entire page, reminding me of the importance of combatting my insecurities. Why hearts? No idea! It just worked.

"Discuss this in pairs. I'll give you twenty minutes."

What?

"You've not been following, have you?" asked Ethan, hiding a smile.

I was already at a disadvantage and actively choosing not to concentrate was a careless decision.

Keep it together, Maddie!

"Sorry."

"That's okay." He smiled, and so did his dimples. "Can I ask you something personal?"

Oh no.

"Umm...okay."

"Why do you draw hearts? I noticed you did it yesterday too."

I looked down at the page covered in amateur drawings and blushed, more than a little embarrassed by my childish ways.