Straight To You

thirty-eight

"I'm so sorry, Morgan," Lana tells me, her voice catching. I can tell she's just as upset as I am as she wraps her arms around my shoulders, holding me close as I cry. Elena soon appears at my side as well, trying her best to help Lana comfort me. All that I can think about is that now I don't just have to face Jack on a daily basis after what I found out about him, but I also have to face Lacey and Lucas, too. I have an entire class period with Lucas, which means I have to see him for an hour and a half every single day. Just the thought has me sobbing, crying into Lana's shoulder for support.

"You could press charges," Elena offers, gently taking my face in her hands and wiping away my tears. "Force this to go to court. I saw the last few minutes of what happened. I could testify for you. Technically, then the school would have to back you up."

"What's the point?" I mutter weakly, shaking my head as fresh tears fall down my cheeks. "Neither Lucas nor Lacey assaulted me or anything; they just humiliated me. That's not enough to take to court. Besides, it doesn't matter. Lacey got what she wanted. Maybe this can all be over now. I'll just have to . . . suffer through it, I guess." Sniffling, I try to regain my composure. I don't want to cry, don't want to look as frail as I'm feeling. All I want to do is hold my head high and try to forget that any of this ever happened.

I notice Elena and Lana share a long glance. Sighing, Elena pulls me into her arms once again. "If that's what you want," she says softly, nodding. "Just know that if anything ever gets too much for you, you're always welcome to come hide out in my office. I'll always be here for you, Morgan."

"Thank you," I whisper, voice cracking. "That . . . that means a lot to me." And it really does, to know that there is someone who is completely on my side. To know that Elena cares about me and doesn't want to see me hurt is almost enough to lift my spirits, making me feel just the slightest bit better. At least I'm not alone. At least I didn't lose everyone I love.

At that moment, the bell rings. So I take a deep breath and try pulling all of the confidence I can muster to the surface (which isn't very much). I rise from my seat, wiping away my tears as I grab my things. Sighing, I murmur, "I guess I should head to class now."

"I'll walk with you," Lana is quick to offer, standing from her chair and joining me. "You know I'm on your side, right?" Lana says as we exit the front office after saying our goodbyes to Elena, heading for class. "I'm here for you, Morgan. Always."

Her words have me smiling to myself. Maybe what I'm going through right now sucks, but at least some good came out of it. I learned who my real friends are, and there's nothing better than knowing I have someone who will stand by my side no matter what. So, with that in mind, I offer Lana a small smile, knowing that just because the sky is dark right now it doesn't mean the sun will never shine again.

• • •

I'm heading for my locker before leaving school when I hear the yelling. The hallway I'm using as a short cut to get to my locker faster is pretty secluded, so when I hear the voices I can't help pausing in my tracks to listen, taken off guard.

"How could you, man?" I hear a deep voice muttering just as I notice two boys standing together around the corner. They don't seem to notice me, and I decide it's better that way. Creeping closer for a better glance, I can just make out Jack's broad figure. The sight of him makes me want to be sick, the ache I feel in my heart stronger than ever. Next to him stands Lucas, his arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"Were you that upset that she dumped you?" I hear Jack holler, taking a step dangerously close to Lucas, fists clenched tightly at his sides. I have a feeling that the she Jack is referring to just-so-happens to be me, as I'm the only girl that's dumped Lucas recently, as far as I know. I'm not surprised that the two of them are talking about me. What does surprise me, however, is how numb I feel to the realization.

"Or do you just hate me that much, Lucas?" Jack draws on, tone venomous. "Because I would never pull something like that on you, no matter what went down between us in the past."

"Does it really matter why I did it?" Lucas counters, not bothering to deny that what happened in the auditorium was his fault. "You got what you deserve, and that's all that matters to me."

"You hurt her, you asshole!" Jack snaps, the intensity of his tone causing me to flinch. "You do realize that, right? You wanted to get back at me? Fine. Whatever you feel necessary. But to hurt her in the process? What was the point in that? You know she isn't going to take you back now, right, you fucking idiot? She knows you helped Lacey. Did you seriously think embarrassing her in front of the entire fucking school was going to make her run right back into your arms?"

"It isn't about that, Jack!" Lucas retorts, shoving Jack backwards and into the lockers with a surge of anger. "The point is that now she knows who you really are, and you got what you had coming. Because if I can't have her, then you sure as hell can't!"

I'm surprised that I don't feel much of anything about what I'm hearing. I'm not entirely sure what's going on between Lucas and Jack, yet I don't care enough to figure it out. In fact, I'm tired of caring. Because caring means that you're giving people the power to hurt you, and I will never give anyone that chance again.

"That's your logic, man?" Jack questions, voice rising as he storms up to Lucas. "'If I can't have her, you can't'? You do realize that Morgan is a person, right? She isn't some trophy! You can't just win her or lose her. You understand that, don't you?"

I'm not sure why Jack bothers to defend me against Lucas. I mean, he's the one who hurt me in the first place, using me to win some stupid bet. I didn't matter to him. Our entire relationship was based around deceit. So why is Jack making it seem like he did care about me, after all?

"Oh, get over yourself, Jack," Lucas sneers with a wicked smirk, shaking his head. "You lost and I won. We're done here."

When I see Jack pull his fist back and ram it into the side of Lucas's face, I don't immediately jump in to put a stop to their fight. And when Lucas is back on his feet after getting over the initial shock of Jack's blow and I notice their scuffling get worse, I don't come forward to step between them. Because those two hurt me in ways nobody else ever could, and what they do together is none of my business.

So I push aside the voice in my head that's telling me to stop the two, turning a blind eye to their fighting and continuing on my walk, surprised when I find myself praying that Jack doesn't end up getting beaten too badly. He may have hurt me, but he also defended me only moments earlier, when he didn't even know I was listening. And I know that I shouldn't be making excuses for Jack after everything he's done, but that's what you do when you're in love. Love makes you do strange things, like justify a person's questionable behavior or blind you to what you know deep down is the ugly truth.

And try as I might, I can't deny that a part of me will always be in love with Jack Crawford.