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Till now, the story has been about our friendship, but it's time to move on. You did, I didn't. That's where the problem lies.
The summer break came and I missed you to death. I missed our conversations. I missed our bantering. I missed you. Your smile, the way you laugh with your eyes and the way you always have a carefree posture. That's why I took the time to read some of our old conversations.
But in not so long I'm going to quit soccer, I had written. So...
Why?
Because there are more important things I need to think about than soccer. I need to get into a good high school.
Imagine if you become a professional soccer player and became a millionaire. It's fun to play soccer and earn money off that.
That's easy for you to say, who doesn't have your parents nagging you.
Nah, my dream is to become a doctor, I replied.
No, I don't think it is. Not anymore. It feels like my parents' dream.
Boring. Mine is soccer.
I'll respect that, I had replied.
I really hope you become a doctor.
I was crying non-stop now and I didn't know how to make it stop.
Scrolling through our text, I've come to realize that finding a conversation where we don't insult each other is a rarety. It's either me calling you a cow, or a troll or ugly. And you calling me short and saying I don't have real friends.
I appreciate the kind ones so much.
I heard the pling of a message. Still crying, I looked at the message.
Hey, how are you? Anette had sent me. What kind of messed up situation was this?
Why did I love you the way I did when you were completely off-limits?
I just read some old messages and started to cry.
There was no reason for me to lie.
Don't do that. They're heartbreaking, She sent me.
She's right. They really are heartbreaking.
Why aren't you asking me of who it is? I sent, too tired to keep it hidden from her anymore. Maybe it was because of me feeling shit but had I known and been in the right mindset, I wouldn't have said anything.
Who?
I took a deep breath. Your ex.
Oh. Well, congrats!
What is there for her to congratulate for? That I'm a backstabbing bitch like Bianca? That it feels like you made me a backstabbing bitch? I'm so horrible.
I narrowed my eyes. How was it fine for her that the boy that had broken up with her after two years of a relationship was now liked by her best friend?
Why was it fine for her that it was you?
Later, about a few days later, I found out that it wasn't okay with her. She got drunk and sent me messages.
I'm really disappointed in you. You were supposed to be my friend.
God, I cried that night. I've been crying a lot lately.
I felt so terrible and I did the cruelest thing I could have done to a girl that had done nothing wrong to me. Or, well, she did side with you when you were being rude too, but she was in love. Can't blame her for that.
Yours truly.
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