Love Again

The Avoiding Game

Three Days Later
In the three days since the Charlotte Race, I have a. avoided everyone b. asked Chase's PR Rep to handle all of Jimmie's media need's for this week and c. I have thrown myself into all out mope session. I haven't talked to anyone in the last three days. Well besides the sort five minute phone call to Mr. Hendrick. I didn't go into detail, just told him I needed to take some time off for personal reasons. I have ten missed calls from Jeff, whom did come by Monday morning but I talked to him through the door. Reasuring him that I don't need a babysitter. Five missed calls and ten text messages from Stacy. And ready for this over a hundred missed calls, thirty voicemails and fifty text messages from Jimmie. Each text and voicemail begging me to speak to him. Yeah sure avoid Jimmie right but why everyone else? Simple, they can't do anything to fix this. Holding me and telling me everything will be okay or telling me to pick myself up, isn't going to help me. In the last year and half I have lost two men I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. How am I suppose to deal with that? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not meant to be happy? Am I doomed to be alone? I am laying on my sofa with my trusty white Cat Snow in my lap, when my phone rings. I look at the caller ID. Stacy. I let it ring. God what part of not answering means leave me alone, don't these people understand? The phone only goes silent for about ten seconds when it rings again. Stacy again. I hit ignore. Ten seconds later, a pounding on my front door. I ignore it, I really don't want to see anyone. A key in the door and then the door opening and slaming shut, makes we wish I could disappear and that I never gave Stacy a key.

"Paige Lydia Barnes." Her voice booms through the house. Then she's standing in my living room. Looking a mixture of fury and concern.

"What the hell? I got a frantic phone call from Jimmie late Sunday afternoon, saying that something happened and that he was worried about you. I call you no answer but a text saying you need some time alone. I call Jimmie back and he gives me some bullshit vague story, about how he unintentionally hurt you." Tears pool in my eyes but I push them back.

"Just like he said." I say.

"No. I don't believe for one second that Jimmie hurt you. There is no way. Nope don't believe it."

"Believe it Stacy." I say while wiping a tear that has manged to escape. Stacy is by my side in a second.

"Then talk to me Paige. What happened? Cause that man would jump through fire for you, so I am having a hard time believing he would do anything to cause you pain." I take a deep breathe and start from the beginning.

"Then Maria shows up Sunday after the race, pregnant." I finish my story with a short sob. I am pulled into Stacy's arms, my head laying in her lap as I cry my heart out. Stacy and I have always been this close. She may be my cousin but she has always been like a Sister to me. My Willow to her Buffy, we always said cause we both love Buffy The Vampire Slayer so much. She pulls my head up from her lap and wipes away my tears.

"What is wrong with me Stacy? First Josh now this with Jimmie. Am I not meant to be happy? Am I that unloveable? Ugly. What?"

"Paige no don't ever say them things. Any man would be lucky to be with you. Hell if I wasn't your cousin I would jack you up in a heart beat."

"Okay slightly gross." I say with a chuckle. The first laugh in three days. Leave it to her to make me laugh when I would rather sulk.

"This doesn't have to be the end of you and Jimmie."

"God I am so sick of hearing that."

"It's true Paige. Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean you two can't be together. Lots of people have kids outside of marriage and still take care of them and be in their lives."

"That's not Jimmie."

"Shouldn't you let him decide that?" She's right but I know Jimmie like no one else, he won't do that. I don't say anything making Stacy sigh.

"Look Jimmie doesn't want to be with Maria, he wants to be with you. A child doesn't change that."

"Yeah and what happens when Maria decides she doesn't want their child around me? You know she's never liked me. You should have seen her, so proud that I was hurting. Smirking the whole fucking time. Like she was rubbing it in my face."

"That bitch was always a money hungry, evil wench. I wouldn't put it past her to lie and that the baby is not really Jimmie's. She had to screw around on him, she just looks the type to fuck anything with a."

"Stop Stacy just stop. It's over okay. Whatever Jimmie and I had it's over. I won't be the reason he doesn't have a relationship with his child. I never had my Dad, I won't see his child suffer through the same thing."

"Do you love Jimmie?" Her question brings fresh tears to my eyes. I nod my head yes.

"Tell him, let him decide what he wants to do."

"No that will just break my heart more."

"So your just gonna lock yourself in your home for all eternity? What about work? You do work for him." Haven't thought about that. Maybe I can get over this so I am able to keep working. No that's not possible.

"Oh no, do not do anything irrational like quitting. Not yet. Let things settle down first." I nod.

"I just think you need to calm down and really think about this. It's not like with Josh, Josh cheated on you, lied to you. Jimmie he didn't do either of those things and I am sure he didn't mean to knock up Maria. That's not Jimmie. When he wants a family he'll start it with the women he loves. Maria that's not her."

"Your not gonna change my mind Stacy." Stacy sighs.

"It looks like you could use a Buffy marathon. Why don't I go out and get us some of your favorite take out, some ice cream and we'll binge okay." I smile and nod. What would I do without her? She's right though concerning my job. I can't quite till things settle down, till I know if I can keep my feelings and emotions in check.