Love Again

Space

It was like all the wind got knocked out of me. Maria's smirking face as she holds Jimmie's hand against her belly. Jimmie's shocked and concerned eyes haven't left mine. Tears begin to leak from eyes and I am struggling to not fall to the ground in sobs. Just when I didn't think things could get worse, Maria turns and cups Jimmie's face in her hands then presses her lips to his. I stumble back hitting the guard rail. The world spinning around me. My heart breaking into a million pieces. The familiar feeling of hurt, betrayal settle into my chest. I can't do anything but watch as Jimmie tries to free himself from Maria's grip but failing. She just won't let him go. Finally getting myself to move I push away from the guard rail and turn, running towards the motor home lot.

"Paige, Paige." It's Jeff. Turning to face him, I see he's in a golf cart. I stop facing him, tears streaming down my face. Jeff jumps out of the golf cart and walks over. I let myself surrender to the sobs, not able to hold them in no longer. In a instant I am in Jeff's arms.

"She's pregnant Jeff. Maria is pregnant and it's Jimmie's." I mumble into Jeff's chest. He doesn't say anything but I can feel eyes on me.

"Let's get you to the motor home." Jeff says walking me to the golf cart. I am numb. The ride to the motor home a blur. I am not aware of anything around me. The image of Maria's slightly swollen bully with Jimmie's hand over it. Maria's lips on his, is all I can see. I am not aware we have stoped till Jeff helps me from the golf cart then into the motor home. The scene all too familiar from earlier this weekend, when I saw Josh with Sanjay. However this is worse. The pain in my chest worse. It feels like my heart has been riped from my ribcage.

"I know what is going through your head Paige but no matter what is going on with Maria, it doesn't change how Jimmie feels about you." I shake my head no.

"Yes it does. Jimmie isn't the type of guy to leave his child or to have some half ass relationship with it. He will want to do the right thing. So you see we can never be together."

"But Jimmie doesn't love Maria, he loves you." Jeff's words bring fresh tears to my eyes.

"Just because we slept together and we planned to move in doesn't me he loves me. He never said it."

"It doesn't me he doesn't. I see the way." I jump up and yell,

"Just stop Jeff. God how could I be so stupid to think that I could actually be happy? Fuck how could Jimmie be so careless? You know after I'll first time together we feel asleep but he woke me up in a painc at three am because he forgot to use protection. I had to reasure him it was all good cause I am on the pill. Now she shows up pregnant with his child. I don't understand." My words are cut short by the beeping of the motor home key pad. I can't face him right now.

"I can't." I say and run to the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I hear footsteps stepping onto the bus then Jimmie asking where I was. Footsteps come closer to the door and the handle jiggles.

"Paige please come out." The sound of his voice breaks my heart more.

"We need to talk, please come out. Please." He sounds hurt and desperate and for a second I almost give in and open the door. My brain wins over my heart. I keep my mouth shut and sit on the edge of the bed but scenes of the intimacy Jimmie and I shared in this bed, flash in my mind. I jump up swollowing the sob.

"Paige please just talk to me." I walk back over to the door, my hand going onto the knob but I take it off.

"Jeff can you take me home? My home." I say

"Paige please."

"Jimmie." Jeff says and I hear Jimmie sigh.

"Paige please don't do this. Paige I."

"Go Jimmie." I cut Jimmie off by yelling.

"I." Jimmie is then cut off by Jeff.

"Come on man." I hear footsteps then the motor home door open and close.

"You can come out now." Jeff says. I open the door and step out.

"Thank you." I say. I grab my purse and laptop case and step towards the door.

"Don't go too hard on him." Jeff says from behind me. I take a deep breath and open the door. I step out and the moment I do Jimmie is in front of me. He looks well a wreck. He's pale, the look in his eyes are one of pain and fear. I almost scrumble into his arms but standing behind us is Maria. I step around him but he steps back in front of me.

"Please don't. Just let's talk." I try to get past Jimmie but he steps in front of me.

"Please Jimmie, I, I need space. Time. Just please leave me alone." My words break my own heart. I would never thought I would say them words to Jimmie. Tears pool in Jimmie's eyes and it breaks my heart more. He steps aside and I walk past. I can't help but see Maria's smirking face as I walk away. The ache in my heart is almost making me double over in pain. I get into the golf cart that I pulled up in earlier. Jeff gets into the drivers side. I don't say a word as we drive out of the motor home lot, out of the track and onto the parking lot. We leave the golf cart and walk through the parking lot to Jeff's car. The ride to my house is silient. I don't notice us pulling up and hearing Jeff kill the engine of his car. I hear the passenger side door open and Jeff taking my hands and pulling me out.

"I got it." I say as Jeff reaches into the car for my stuff. I grab my purse and laptop case.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself? You can always stay with us for the night." No that is the last thing I need right now. I can't be around Jeff's happy family. I was close to having that.

"Thanks Jeff but I want to be alone right now." I say.

"This doesn't have to be the end of you and Jimmie."

"I won't be the reason his child doesn't have their Father. I know what that's like and I won't let it happen to anyone else." Jeff leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"I'll come by in the morning to check on you."

I give Jeff a weak smile and turn headed to my front door. I unlock my door and step in. The moment I close the door behind me everything sinks in. The ringing of my phone echoes through the house. I pull it out and read Jimmie's name. I drop my phone as sobs over take my body and I slide down to the floor. How can this weekend start off so great and life changing to life shattering in a matter of an hour?