"Lilith." Someone has held my eyes open to flash a flashlight in them. I thought I heard Allen, but this voice was rougher. I looked at him and blinked to focus properly. "Allen—? Where's... Where's Allen?" The person standing above me was a man dressed in a white coat and big glasses. My heart dropped to my ankles.
I quickly tried to sit up and back away, but my hands were strapped down. I looked at him, his face was now more blurry than it was earlier and my stomach turned. What was happening to me? Was that the guy from... before? That was a dream, right? The guy before was just a dream? So why didn't I wake up to Allen's voice?
"Where is he?!" I snapped still trying to blink the blur away and clenching my teeth together. "Ms.Lilith, are you aware of current location?" The man said above me. I looked around the room and things just got harder to focus on. "I don't.
I don't know." I felt tears fall heavily from my eyes and my breathing was deep. "Allen..." My breathing had pinched and then I choked up his name again. Where was he? Why wasn't he with me? I craved his voice and the touch of his hand on mine. I closed my eyes and started to drift off again.
I woke up slowly hoping Allen was close. Like after all the weird dreams, he would be there comforting me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, propping myself up on the hard surface beneath me. I looked down and around me. The room. Was I still asleep? They didn't normally last this long. No. Something wasn't right.
I needed to get back to Allen. He must be having so much trouble carrying me. I threw my feet over the side of the bed and looked at the door as it was slowly swinging open. "Lilith, I have your medicine."
"I hate the medicine." I muttered and looked at my feet still dangling on the side of the bed. "Well, dear, you are going to with an attitude like that." She scoffed and then chuckled walking over and handing me the paper cup of water and the couple of pills in another small paper cup.
"What are these for?" The lady looked at me and frowned, "Now Lilith, I tell you this every time you take it." I looked at her and my eyebrows stitched together. "You do?" She gently nodded and I bit my lip looking away from her now.
What was wrong with me? "Am I really just sick?" She gently put her hand on my chin and made me look at her, "Yes, but you are feeling better aren't you, dear? You have been talking to Dr. Conner?" I yanked my face away and looked away. "I don't know who that is." She sighed and started her way out of the room,
"It'll all come back eventually, hun. It always does." I watched her step out the room and closing the door, her dress almost getting caught in it as she shut it completely.
I felt hesitant to ask about Allen. Was he here with me somewhere? Would they know? I stood up and walked over to the window. The doctor man in the blue shirt with large glasses stood by a black car. Each edge softened by a curve. It was a lovely car, he certainly didn't deserve it.
I read the sign in the front of the building and tilted my head to see it from the angle it was in. "Kingston Hospi-" As I was reading it out loud a girl walked in my room somewhat nervous. "H-Hi" She twiddled her thumbs, "h-how's it going l-Lei?" I looked down at her feet and traveled my way up to her face.
"What?" I felt my words come out tense and I realized all my muscles were tight in my shoulders and arms. I gently tried to relax, but I just looked like I was having a stroke. "I-It's me. C-C-Cally." She twitched has she tried to get her name out. She looked docile, like kitten. Her hair was as long as her back but she had half of it over her shoulder to lightly cover a small portion of herself.
She wore a plain yellow dress that went to her knees. Her skin was like vanilla ice cream, so creamy and smooth. I looked at her eyes and smiled lightly, one was blue and the other brown. "I don't remember meeting you before." I said to her and she chuckled lightly. It was soft and sweet.
I slowly sat back on the bed and she smiled at me. "You u-u-usually d-don't, but me and y-y-you are good friends. A-And room-m-mates." He filled my thoughts. Maybe she'd know.
"Do- um- d-do you know if there is some named Allen here?" I looked her in the eyes hoping they held the answer I searched for. But they fell sad and she looked away. "Y-You ask that question every time, too." I frowned, everyone knew what was going on, but me. My stomach growled and rumbled as I looked down holding it.
Stinging tears filled my eyes. "Lily." She said without stuttering wither her kindest voice. I looked up at her and felt some tears slowly fall. "Let's g-go get a snack, y-y-you sound hungry." I sighed and shook my head 'no', taking my glance away from her. "We c-can look for A-Allen." She smiled standing patiently by the door. I looked up quick and nodded, "Okay." I smiled and she opened the door, "I'll sh-show y-you around, t-too." I nodded again and she led me around.
The walls were covered in paintings without frames. Each one revealing a different measurement of skill. Some were faces, some were flowers, and some were just squiggles. Each painting held a different whisper.
They all gave me an uneasy feeling. They were indistinctive, but they were there. I looked away as a frown began to form. This hospital was sad. I felt it in the walls and in the people walking around in the hallways. Everyone walked around looking drained and utterly empty.
I looked at the sweet younger girl guiding me and studied her. Even having such bright colors, she looked so gray. We walked into a room that represented as a cafeteria. A sign hanging on the window of the food station, it read 'closed'.
"D-Don't worry. The n-nurse gave me s-some d-dollars f-f-f-f-or the vending machines." She smiled at me. She liked to smile, she did it a lot. I think I'm starting to remember her. I nodded as she showed me the neatly folded dollars. Everything about her was neat. Her hair, her plain yellow dress, without a single wrinkle. Her nails were perfectly trimmed.
My eyes trailed to her arms. Neat, straight scars, in a uniformed order. It was like a focused pattern. She raised her arm to the machine and her hand moved with ease across the buttons.
A small bag of purplish red grapes fell to the bottom. "I l-like cold f-f-foods, it's better for m-my teeth. B-But y-y-you can use the other vending m-machine for pretzels." I looked up and hadn't even noticed the two vending machines stood next to each other. One acted as a refrigerator, the other was more like a pantry.
Cally handed me some change and stepped aside to move out of my way as she munched on her grapes. I looked blankly at the machine and felt everything around me be consumed by darkness.
It was just me and the vending the machine. Allen walked out of the darkness and leaned against the oversized box filled with snacks. "Lei." He said to me. "You have to eat." I slowly shook my head 'no' as tears trickled down my cheeks. They were hot and heavy. "For me." I thought about fighting just to hear his voice. Make him angry, so he'd keep talking and stay with me. Because even if he wasn't real at this moment, he was still here. I examined the foods through the glass.
He pressed the numbers for me and a small bag of crackers fell to the bottom. Everything was silent, he was gone. The only thing I heard or saw was the flickering of the broken light of the vending machine in front of me. All the other sounds around me were muffled.
"Lily." I heard, but I was still staring at the machine. I was being shook and a hand grabbed my arm, pulling me into the darkness. I felt tears falling down my cheeks and I wanted to cry, but no sound came out. I felt all of the darkness leave the area around me and fill me instead. Emptiness and regret. I felt like
I had lost everything. My heart was shattering and I couldn't pin point why. Where was Allen? Why isn't he here with me?
"Where's Allen?" I said still staring into nothingness. Cally pulled me away after grabbing the crackers. "I just want my Allen. I just... want... I want him." I felt every part of me breaking down. It was all hurting.
"I'll take y-y-you back t-to y-your room, Lil."
"I-I'll take you back t-to your room, Lil.
