trying to save us

v. what if

"Yeah, man. Don't worry about it I was wide awake and had nothing better to do anyways since I'm off tomorrow."

"Cool, man. Kaycee's actually up in her bedroom right now you should go check up in her. I wish I could tell you why she needed to see you so suddenly but none of us really know why, all we know is that it sounded pretty urgent," the older man said as he nodded his head toward the staircase.

The younger felt his palm start to get all clammy as he tried to discretely wipe the sweat onto his joggers. He doesn't know why he felt so nervous, the Rice household was pretty much like a second home. He'd always visit during breaks or long weekends in college since UCLA wasn't too far from the residence. It was a place he always knew as a safe haven, a place he felt love and comfort.

It was the thought of seeing Kaycee again that was making the hairs on the back of his neck rise. The familiar creak of the stairs as he pressed into the fourth step from the top hinting that he was only a few feet away from the girl's door.

Stopping right outside the door adorning a collage of polaroids, Sean was about to knock when he paused, taking in all of the pictures on the door. This collage wasn't here the last time he visited the house. It'd been two years since he has stepped foot into the household, two years since the break up that still made his heart hurt.

But Sean could feel a smile etch its way onto his lips as he recognized himself in many of the pictures. Some of the pictures hung up had been duplicates of the ones he had sitting in his shoeboxes of memories that he was holding.

He was in pictures from the lake house, pictures from all of the group hangouts, pictures from when he would spend the holidays with the Rice clan, and even pictures of just the two of them hung proudly on the door.

He couldn't believe that even after everything they've been through, she still hung up his pictures. All of this time had passed since the break up, but Kaycee still took the time to carefully place these pictures upon her door and still included Sean despite their relationship failing.

"Um, Lew? You going to knock on there or do you need me," Kylie asked with the raise of a brow as she teased the boy who she thought of as a younger brother.

"I should probably do that my bad, Ky," he rambled before knocking on the girl's door as Kylie walked past him and down the stairs.

Sean heard a muffled "Come in!" from behind the door so he proceeded to push the door open and step in as he told.
He stepped in with his head facing his sock clad feet as he he reached out behind him to push the door close, afraid to look up at the girl.

"Hey," he heard softly, the voice coming from the direction of the girl's bed.

Finally breaking eye contact with the floor, Sean looked up and he felt a sob get caught in his throat. The girl's cuts and bruises were healing, but he could still see behind her fake smile. No matter how hard she tried to fool people, Sean could see right through her. She was broken inside and Sean knew it.

"Hi Kayc," Sean said with a wave while carefully making his way to the foot of her bed where he took a seat and gently placed the boxes. "How have you been feeling? The meds been any help?"

"They've been working decently, the pain comes and goes but I'm sure I'd be much worse without them. But how have you been? I know this whole thing hasn't just been affecting me," Kaycee said smiling sadly.

"Things could be better, but I know they could've easily been much worse so I'm holding up," he glanced at the bandage taped to the girl's left temple, "any luck in regaining some of your memory?"

Kaycee was grateful that Sean wasn't avoiding the subject like a lot of her past visitors had been. While everyone was too nervous to question her on the touchy subject, Sean knew to ask her about it knowing fully well that she needed to discuss it more if she wanted to get a better understand of it.

"A lot of the stories from our friends have sounded familiar, but I still struggle trying to picture it all happening. The other day Jules showed me a picture of all six of us during homecoming, I think it was a rival game against USC? Anyways, that seemed really familiar and the pictures definitely helped, but it's still hard for me to fully recollect a solid memory."

"What? Kaycee that's amazing! You're making progress and that's all that matters," Sean said as his eyes were full of pride for his— the girl.

"Yeah," Kaycee said matching his excitement, "it's not a lot but I'm getting there! But actually Sean, that's why I wanted you to come over on such short notice."

Sean nodded as he signaled for her to continue.

"You see, everyone keeps telling me all about how our relationship was. The ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, you name it. It's amazing that everyone is so willing to try and help me remember such a pivotal part of my life, but with something so intimate as love, I feel like the only person who could truly tell me what love was like is the person that shared it with me. Which is why I'm asking you to help me Sean, help me remember what it was like to love you."

"Kaycee," he said shocked at the girl's request. "I don't know if you're ready for this. Or if I'm ready for this."

The girl could only respond with a slight pout of her lips, her brown eyes pleading for him to help.

"It's only been two days since it all happened and it's crazy late I don't know if we have the time to get through an entire love story before it gets too late. But look I brought these boxes of pictures and little trinkets we shared, these hold some of the best memories that we've ever had together, hopefully going through these might help," he said giving the girl the two boxes her brought.

"Sean, this is great and all. I mean thank you, really, but I still feel like you had such a huge role in my life, especially within the last few years prior to the accident, is there anyway that you could just stay? Maybe give me the first part of our story?"

He sighed as he ran his fingers through his thick hair, "I really don't know Kayc, sooner or later I'll have to stop mid story so I could go home and you'll be left with the unfinished tale of us," he explained hoping the stubborn girl would take no for an answer, at least for the time being. "Maybe it'd be best for you to go through these first and see what you remember and perhaps on another day I can patch up any of the missing holes in your memory."

"Please, Sean. I don't know if I could go another day without hearing the genuine version of our story. It took up almost a decade of my life, don't I deserve to remember it?"

"It's getting really late Rice, I told you that even if I do start, I won't have any time to finish it, at least not by today."

"Okay well, what if I asked you to stay?"