Shining Star (BoyxBoy)

9

Tris’s POV

I hated things that I couldn’t control. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’m some kind of control freak who wants everything to go my way, or maybe it’s just that I’m anxious of the outcome.

My emotions, for example, are something I cannot predict, and they annoyed the hell out of me. I am always oddly drawn to Pierce, although I try not to make it so obvious.

In this storm, I couldn’t help but make it obvious. Me and Pierce don’t have a romantic history, but we have a history nonetheless. Pierce and I are best friends, we hang out a lot, text each other endlessly, and have hour long phone calls with each other.

I don’t know why I’m so attracted to him, because he has so many flaws.

He’s destructive towards himself, he always puts himself down, and in turn, others, to make himself feel better about him outing himself down. IT MAKES NO SENSE.

He also gets a little bit emotional about topics that he is very passionate about, like Chemistry and Mechanics. He’s really good at those. Even I couldn’t get up to his standard, and believe me, I’ve tried.

Pierce also is just not my type, because I’m supposed to like girls, but someone up there decided to add some gay juice when creating me.

I don’t know what I am, and that’s okay with me, for the most part. I’ve been itching to tell my parents, and family, and friends, because I know for a fact that they’d be very accepting. But I can’t tell them what I don’t know.

Am I gay? Bisexual? Pansexual? ‘insert random word here’-sexual?

I don’t know why I’ve been holding back my feelings either. I like Pierce, but I’m just too scared of rejection to tell him. I wanna be able to date him and call him cliché but sweet names like babe.

Being scared took away the feeling of being afraid of rejection.

As Pierce held me in his arms, trying to calm me down, I looked up at him, and our eyes met. We both froze and continued to look at each other.

“Pierce,” I said, then took a deep breath.
“I’m listening,” he said.

“I wanna say something to you, but I’m scared.”

“What is it about?”

“Um…if I tell you that then I’d have to tell you the thing I’m too scared to tell you,” I said nervously.

“Come on, just tell me, you can’t just say that shit and then not say anything at all.”

“Um…okay…it’s just that, I’m kinda scared though…”

“Okay, enough with this shit. You never get scared, except when it involves the weather,” he said, reminding me of the weather conditions outside, prompting me to look outside the window into the darkness, “Also, if you don’t say what you wanna say now, then you might regret not saying it. No matter what you say, I’ll still be your best friend.”

“I like you Pierce. I just…like you,” I said as quickly as I could.

Pierce went silent, then raised his eyebrows, then said, “What exactly do you like about me? I’m just the average Joey.”

“First, it’s average Joe, and second, there is a lot I like, and you thinking that you’re just average makes me wanna beat you up.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back.

“I like how you look, obviously, I like your passion for Physics, I like your smile cause it always lights up the room. I know it seems cliché but that’s how it is. I love the way your voice sounds, it either calms me or drives me crazy, I like your determination, like how you never give up until you can do something. I love the ideas that come out of your head, and I love your theories, I love how smart you are, and…I love you I guess. I know that my answer wasn’t definitive, but there are just some things in my head that I can’t covey using words.”

Pierce looked at me, and then said, “I know how much you hated that. You did that thing where you were rubbing your palms together. You only do that when you are nervous. I admire how you mustered the confidence to do this…and the fact that you like that many things about me just…blows my mind. I like you too. Maybe that’s why we like being around each other. When I’m around you, I get rid of this mask that I have on in front of other people, and I act like myself. I wanna be able to take off that mask and never wear it. You make me want to act like myself, so I’m gonna tell you something okay? It’s between you and me only.”
I nodded my head, and listened attentively. My heart was already beating because if the words ‘I like you too’, but I concealed how nervous I was.

“I have these feelings that I haven’t been able to explain for a very long time, and I figured them out the first time I met you. Remember I walked up to you while you were drawing? I only went cause I was strangely attracted to you. I figured it was just one of those things, you know? But then, I figured out that I was only attracted to you because I like you. I’m…bisexual,” he relaxed his shoulders and let out a sigh, “It feels so good to finally get that off my chest.”

He looked into my eyes, then scooted closer to me. I held my position, and also scooted closer to him.

“I like you Tris. Can I kiss you?” he asked, and I hastily nodded.

He saw that as a sign of approval, then leaned it to kiss me. He tilted his head to the right, and so did I. Our lips met, and his were softer than I had ever imagined. As our lips danced in the closed mouth kiss, I felt my entire body release this…sensation, like I was alive…finally alive. I had gotten what I wanted, and it felt so good.

Then, we heard the car doors open. I tried to pull away, but Pierce wasn’t fast enough. Tyler and Amy sat down, and looked back at us. Pierce finally let me go, and we had looks of embarrassment on our faces.

Amy and Tyler on the other hand, looked disappointed. Maybe it’s because they thought Pierce was straight. They didn’t say anything, and all of us sat in silence for the next half hour.

The lights suddenly came back on, and everything was much clearer, but it was much scarier now. The streets started to flood, but not so much that it would cause disruptions, and the wind battering the area seemed to be gale force.

Okay, now my heart was beating really fast.