Chapter 3

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Blaine feels himself turn red. His head still hurts and might explode if he isn't careful, but really, has there ever been a family as embarrassing as his?

It takes a while until he understands that the sound he hears is Kurt laughing. He is shaking, the flowers in his hand trembling until he carefully places them on the desk before falling down on the bed.

Blaine still is mortified. "I'm so sorry," he says.

"Oh my God," Kurt gasps. "Should I expect a severed horse head on my pillow when I wake up tomorrow?"

Blaine lies down on the bed, face down, careful to avoid any sudden movement.

"I'm so sorry," he repeats into the pillow. Kurt is still laughing, but puts a hand between his shoulder blades. It's comforting. Still, he feels like crying. He'll need a little bit of privacy soon. He'll be damned if he cries in front of his husband, but he hasn't even really cried over Sebastian dumping him, except if you counted drunkenly sobbing into the shoulder pads of a stranger who showed a lot more patience than his initial coldness had led Blaine to expect.

But he knows Kurt doesn't think well of Sebastian, and he's seen the looks he gives him whenever he threatens to become maudlin. He's not going to cry in front of someone who's going to despise him for it, and he knows what Kurt can do with his mouth—not like this, unfortunately, as he still can't remember, but...He remembers first going to speak to Kurt after his performance, how he had looked down on him with haughty surprise at how someone insignificant like Blaine dared talk to him. He'd...thawed later, become quite nice actually, but Blaine still isn't keen on repeating that experience.

He won't cry in front of Kurt.

He's crying.

In front of Kurt.

In fact, he's sobbing into his pillow, ugly, heaving sobs, and the hand between his shoulder blades flutters indecisively until it starts rubbing his back.

He can't seem to stop, clutches his increasingly wet pillow with clenched fists. He cries for Sebastian, who won't take him back, not when he's slept with someone else, married someone else. He cries for his mom, who will be so disappointed. He cries for Kurt, who hasn't done anything to deserve this. He cries for himself.

It's his fault, all of it. When his head starts to clear, he starts thinking of options again, how he can get Kurt out of all of this. But there's no way, not now: they stay married, or he'll lose the Foundation.

He can't lose the Foundation. It's a refuge, not only for the theater kids who have nowhere else to go, not only for the unemployed performers he pays to teach, but for himself, too. The Foundation gives him a place, something to do, somewhere to be, a purpose and the feeling of being useful. It's everything he loves in one building, everything he's always wanted to do and more.

He can't lose it.

Finally, he sits up. Kurt hands him a tissue, and with trembling fingers he takes it and wipes tears and snot off his face.

"Sorry," he says, again.

"No worries," Kurt says. "I get that the situation isn't really...comfortable for you."

"Nor is it for you," Blaine points out. And there isn't even anything he's getting out of it.

"No, but," Kurt hesitates. "I'm don't have an engagement at the moment. I don't have a boyfriend, or real commitments. I can easily leave home for a few weeks. It looks like I could be useful at your Foundation. And my dad will be happy."

"Your dad will be happy you married a stranger?"

"Oh, I'll get an earful for that, I have no doubt. But -" Kurt sighs and moves on the bed, getting comfortable. "He told me once to not sleep around like I didn't matter, because I did matter. And that's a nice thought, but...I don't really sleep around. I have no time to look around for people to hook up with, so I have a...kind of arrangement with a few colleagues. I concentrate on my work, and I call one of them to let off some steam every now and then. It's not a bad thing, it suits me, but it's not what he wants for me."

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