Kurt and Blaine Wake Up Married

Chapter 2

They're silent again. Blaine has kind of expected a stronger reaction to his statement, but Kurt just sits there and pushes the fragments of the paper napkin into orderly little piles. Then he speaks without looking at him.

"If you're trying to tell me you're Christian and can't get divorced because of the sanctity of marriage or something, I should probably enlighten you that in case you haven't noticed, you're married to a man, and I'm pretty sure most religious people would agree you shouldn't do that."

"No. Yes, I mean." Blaine drags a hand through his hair and winces as it comes back with the sticky residue of yesterday's gel. "But, no. I'm gay and out and proud and everything, and considering how sore I am, there's little doubt I had sex with a man last night. But -" He sighs. "It's a long story."

"If I'm leaving here, I'm going home and tell my lawyer to prepare the divorce papers. So if you don't want me to do that, you should start entertaining me."

Blaine sighs and sits cross-legged on the bed. "It's a very weird story, just so you're warned. But I swear it's true. It's also an amount of crazy I'd normally subject a husband to after...minimal five years of marriage. So."

He sighs again, looks at Kurt. Kurt looks back with a politely waiting expression and some amusement. "My great-grandfather had a small legal business and a larger illegal one. I'm not sure what he did, but he made a lot of money, and apparently, he had business with, um...the Sicilian mafia. And he...apparently, he um, he liked that concept of...famiglia. You know. Leaving a legacy, and making sure his descendants would do what he wanted even after his death. I'm not sure. He even...he was a John, but he made everyone call him Gianni, and all of his children have Italian names."

He ignores Kurt's soft snort and scratches his belly. "I'll have to take a shower soon," he states. "I'm gross."

"Chest hair and dried cum is never a good combination," Kurt says. "Finish your tale, and then you can go shower. I'll even come with you and blow you."

"No!" Blaine says. "We can't do that!"

"Why ever not?" Kurt asks with a frown. "We already did it, and it seems to have been good. Why can't we go for round...five, six? I've forgotten."

He flops down on the bed, propped up by his elbows, and Blaine's gaze automatically goes to his ass. Which is, as stated before, very nice. He almost relents. But, no. He can't be that person. He's not that person.

"Because -" he starts, but Kurt interrupts.

"Wait! Sorry. But first things first. Finish your story. I admit I keep getting distracted by your bed head and trying to remember what your dick looks like, but I really want to know why we can't get a divorce. You seem really nice, but I'd still rather not be married to you, you know."

"Yeah, me too," Blaine mumbles. "My crush on you isn't that big, thanks."

"You have a crush on me?" Kurt says, sounding equally scandalized and delighted.

"Anyway," Blaine deflects quickly, shaking his head. "John – Gianni – was a devout Catholic and incredibly happily married. So, in his will, he decreed that his descendants would have to marry for love, and they weren't allowed to ever get divorced. I don't doubt he's rotating in his grave right now, but his will doesn't say anything about gay marriage; I guess he just didn't think of it. Anyway, if any of his descendants marry for another reason, or separate, they forfeit their part of the inheritance. Which has grown considerably over the years."

Kurt sits up. "So I have to stay married to you so you can continue being a spoiled little rich boy? I don't think so."

He sits on the edge of the bed and starts putting on his shoes. Blaine jumps up and runs around to his side of the bed.