the Rain

Into the void

"sono una donna che è venuta per incontrare suo nonno. perché sarà l'inferno? a meno che qualcuno non faccia qualcosa di brutto o lo abbia già fatto."

"I am a woman that came to meet her grandfather. why is it going to be hell? unless someone is going to do something bad or they already did" I said looking to the review mirror.

As if he didn't hear me he kept talking.

"mi chiamo Louis"

"My name is Louis" he said smiling.

"ero la guardia personale di tua madre. mosse i suoi primi passi davanti a me. sono stato io a aiutarla a tirare fuori il suo primo dente! . ero felice intorno a lei. so che questo non ha importanza per te e non ti importa di queste cose stupide. volevo solo dirlo ad alta voce... per la prima volta... perfino era di fronte a sua figlia."

"I was your mother's personal guard. she took her first steps in front of me. I was the one who helped her take out her first tooth! . I was happy around her. I know this doesn't matter to you and you don't care about these stupid things. I only wanted to say it out loud... for the first time... even if it was in front of her daughter"

When I looked to his eyes while he said that. I saw something familier in them, something I've seen so many time that it was unmistakable.. someone is gonna die.

We drove for 2 hours straight. We're no longer in the city. Fields spread around us for miles. No houses or farms came to view. Wow, no where to run to or hide. Few miles more and the ocean appeared from the side of the road and that reminded me of Julia's house.

When all of this is over, when I get to be free from all of this, I'll have  a house next to the beach for myself. A big house not small like Julia's. I'll have the twins to come and play and everyone would be there. And I'll have Rafael and I'll be finally happy.

I promise...

That was the first time I ever made a promise to myself. It was funny how this promise came in this moment where I don't even know where I'm going or what will happen in the coming hours. But if I lived... I'll make sure it'll come true.

The car that was behind us drove pass us and ours slowed down. I looked ahead and a farm came to sight only Suddenly our car stopped.

Louis stopped the engine and held his hands together. He looked to the ocean to his side and took a deep breath.

"We know" he said.

"We were watching everything. What happened to you was wrong. But what happened has happened"

And then he looked at me.

"To you it may seem it's the same story but you are about to see another side of it that I don't expect you to understand and we won't ask you to.

What will happen is something symbolic that everyone in that place needs to witness in order to move on. You're going to hear stories that won't matter to you and see things that you won't understand or care about. But bare it all so it can be over soon"

He cleared his throat and looked ahead to the farm.

"We won't be merciful" he stopped and his eyes changed " no, I won't be merciful if you do something wrong. My only consolation all these years was that knowing that this day will eventually come. If you ruin it for me. I'll release all of my suppressed demons on everyone you've ever loved or cared about"

I believe you.

He didn't wait for my reaction and just drove off.

°°°°°

The car stopped in front of the entrance of the farm. The skinny guy from the airport before came and opened the door fro me still having the annoying smile on his face.

"This way signorina"

As I stepped outside the car, I felt something. I felt the sadness of this place. The ground, the air , the sky. Everything was sad. There was wind but the trees didn't swing along with it. I couldn't help but embrace myself and I felt a shill run through my body. It took me a minute to get myself together and the guards all stood still waiting for me. They all understood.

Now I understood what you meant Louis.

We walked in and the guards didn't pass the hall, they stopped next to the main door. Louis directed me to the hallway and he led the way. Eventually we stopped in front a big door. Before he reached the door he looked at me as if he's reminding me of what we talked about in the car.

No need to complicate things, just do as he said and it'll all be over soon.

He opened the door and there it was just like Jeremy said "the world worst family reunion".

°°°°°°

"Oh mio Dio"

"Sembra sua madre"

"La somiglianza è inquietante"

Whispers filled the room. Old people, young people, man and woman the room was crowded. Slowly the older people came in front. An old lady approached me.

"Mio caro figlio! Sei finalmente tornato"

And she touched my face. I didn't like it so I looked at Louis.

I'm really trying but I don't think I can take it.

He understood that I won't like hearing over and over about me looking like someone I hate.

"She has dementia" he told me.

"I tuoi occhi, sono diversi. sono vuoti e senza vita" she said stepping away from me.

"your eyes, they're different. they're empty and lifeless"

A young woman came and took her away from us making her sit down.

They all kept looking at me trying to see what the old lady was talking about.

I looked again at Louis and he nodded.

"We'll be going to see maestro" and he bowed to them.

We turned around walking out the door and the whispers broke loose again.

And now, I'm on my way to meet the most important person in this place. My host.