the Rain

4 walls

It used to be exhausting. Cold and tiring. But not anymore.

I didn't know how hard I fought until I stopped.

I didn't know how much I wanted it until I gave up.

The after pain, the ached muscles, the void I'm left with.

Still, I did well... I did the right thing.

Somehow, unusually, I feel still and Quiet. Too quiet, and I guess it won't last for long.

Soon, they'll arrive to take home in my head, to avenge themselves.

Well, come along. I'm ready to hear your whispers. To embrace you all with apathy. I won't fight you. I'll take in everything you'll throw at my soul. I'll keep my hands down so you can freely touch me where ever you want. I deserve it...I do, don't I?

°°°°==

How long has it been since you last ate something?

....

Look at me

......

I thought I understood why but I don't think I do anymore.

....

You need at least someone here to help you.

....

Why are you doing this to yourself?

....

I can't see you this way anymore.

....

Bye Emilia.

....

°°°°°°

Was someone here? Julien?

I looked around me but no one was there. I thought I was imagining but the remaining of his strong smell in the room told otherwise. How come I can't tell when someone is around me.
How far from reality was I to not feel him in the room with me. I tried to pull myself up but I didn't have the strength. So I laid my head down again on the couch.

How come I can't feel the presence of a ... Human being when it's around me, yet I can feel the faint breaths of the dead ghosts in the other part of the house?.

I looked around but I couldn't see it, so with my hand like a person with no sight I swayed it around till my fingers felt the coldness of the glassy bottle. The only thing I seemed to oddly feel was the burning sensation of the liquor going down my throat.

"Would u like some?" I asked.

But non of them answered me. They just stood there looking at me with their silent screaming eyes.

Mother, father, and dear uncle.

°°°°°°

The car pulled in on the side of the road. A place that overlooked the hull house without being noticed.

I saw it. I'm not a part of it, But I saw it happening and that's enough. Seeing them from this far is enough.

Steve stood silently by my side, yet I heard what he wanted to say.

"Tomorrow I want you to hand everything to Matteo" I declared.

I turned around and pulled out a cigarette.

"He'll be here in a few hours " I blew into the air " tell him everything he needs to know and go home"

"Em," he hissed looking my way.

"It's time for you to go home Steve" I added opening the car's door " and maybe take your girl to someplace nice"

"I'm not going anywhere" he jeered.

I turned around and looked into his eyes for the last time. I got in and the car drove off.

Goodbye Steve.