Inevitable

Chapter 63

"It's not fine. I can tell by the look on your face. Please talk to me. We need to communicate if this is going to work."

I took a deep breath and tried to organize the thoughts running through my head. There was a lot I wanted to say and never did because I hated conflict. I wanted this time with Henry to go perfect but there was still some lingering emotions about how things played out in the Spring.

"I thought you cheated on me. We had our first fight and you immediately jumped back into your old ways. And after I defended you over and over again. I guess I'm still angry about it."

He ran his hand through his hair. I felt relieved saying it out loud.

"I'm sorry I did that. It was fucked up. But I thought you had cheated too. When I found out you went out with Liam and didn't tell me, every insecurity I have about our relationship seemed to be coming true. Melissa told me all about you two. About how you were practically in love with him all of freshman year and how he had just told you that he was in love with you too. And that it was as if you guys were meant to be and how perfect it all was. It messed me up so bad. I know I'm not the kind of guy you deserve to be with. But I'm trying to be."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on Em. Don't tell me you haven't noticed that we don't exactly go together."

"I have noticed. You are this gorgeous confident rock star and I'm just plain old me."

He had a look of surprise on his face but before he could respond, Sophia came over with our drinks and to take our orders. I ordered a BLT and Henry ordered a Reuben. After she walked away again, Henry's expression changed to one of confusion.

"Em, please tell me that's not what you think of yourself. You are so beautiful that honestly it takes my breath away. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. You are so kind and selfless and loyal to a fault. All your friends would agree. And you are funny and smart and so interesting. You are anything but plain. I can't believe that's what you think."

I was speechless. It was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. And the fact that it came from Henry meant everything to me.

"How can you say such beautiful things to me and think you aren't the type of guy I deserve to be with?"

He shrugged his shoulders like he didn't know how to respond.

"I would never cheat on you. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I promise I will never keep anything from you again. That's why I think I should probably tell you that Liam texted me when you were getting your haircut. He's going to be visiting someone who lives near me and wants to hang out. I haven't responded to him yet."

Henry blinked at me a few times and then rubbed his hands over his face. He looked frustrated and I really couldn't blame him.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I wanted to talk to you about it. I promise you Liam is not a threat. I only see him as a friend now. And I think that's how he sees me too. I've barely spoken to him all summer."

"So what you're saying is you want to hang out with him."

His voice sounded too calm. It felt like he was trying really hard to not let his emotions overtake him. I didn't want to hurt him but I couldn't let him dictate who I was friends with.

"Yes I do and I want you to trust me enough for it to be okay."

"It's not you I'm worried about. What if he tries the same bullshit he tried at that house party?"

"I will handle it. And it would definitely mean the end of our friendship."

"You have given him too many chances Em. Are you sure he deserves them?"

"He was one of my first friends when I got here. I know the way he acted was not who he truly is. So yes I do think he deserves one more chance. But this is definitely the last one."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. I hated that this was upsetting him but I couldn't give in.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Don't say that. You just said we needed to communicate if this was going to work."

"What do you want me to say? I hate the idea of you spending time with him but I can't tell you what to do. So I guess I'll just have to deal with it. You have to deal with a lot of my shit. This lunch being one example. I guess this is what's its like being in a relationship. Just dealing with each other's shit."

"It's only one tiny little part of being in a relationship. Jess said something really profound to me last week. She said that when you find love you have to fight for it because it's not always easy. So yeah, sometimes it's going to be really hard but it's worth it in the end. We can't give up on each other like we did."