Music and Lyrics (one-shots)

#31 Red by Taylor Swift

Bespren! It's been a long time. I know you're a sucker for this kind of love story. Haha. Umiyak ka ha. 

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Do you want a perfect love story?

Sabi sa isang TV series na napanuod ko, to have the perfect love story, you have to end it at the perfect moment. Yung tipong papunta pa lang kayo roon, nagsisimula pa lang, bago pa lang nagiging totoo ang lahat... tapusin mo na.

It is so you could have the perfect memory of each other. I guess they just failed to mention that it would have a huge side effect on you. The what ifs will kill you. What if I tried? What if I took the risk of loving and losing him?

I will forever wallow in those what ifs. I ended it just before it could start. They were right, it made it perfect. It didn't crumble. It didn't fall short. It didn't get ugly. It's almost like freezing the fireworks in the sky forever.

It reached its peak, but it didn't go through the downfall.

There's this one particular day of the month where things just get weird. Umagang-umaga galit ako. Wala akong ganang kumain. I feel like crying. I become reminiscent. And the reason would elude me at first.

Tapos tatanungin ko ang sarili ko kung ano ba ang meron sa araw na iyon. Bakit ba ako nagkakaganoon? And then it would dawn on me.

It's the eleventh of the month.

I'm like this every eleventh of the month. Wala akong sinasabihan tungkol dito. I kept it to myself for a long time and I have no plan on sharing it with anyone, especially with him.

He's the reason why I'm like this.

Sa ikalabing-isa kasi ng isang partikular na buwan ang birthday nya. Monthsary nila ng long-time girlfriend niya sa araw na 'yon kasi sinagot sya nito sa mismong birthday nya.

It's been six years since then. But until now there's still a part of me who reminisces every eleventh. Parang naging parte na iyon ng buhay ko. I'd get weird during that particular date and it can't be helped.

I did not intend for our love story to end the way it did. Back then, I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what to do with that peculiar feeling. Natatakot akong sumugal kasi baka madehado ako. I've had crushes before and I thought that it was just that. A crush.

Nang tumagal, kinumbinsi ko ang sarili ko na infatuation lang 'yon.

Second semester ng first year college nang magustuhan ko sya. He's nice and smart, quite good-looking too. Maraming nagkaka-crush sa kanya noon. Noong una, ayoko sa kanya. But this friend of mine kept on telling me stories about him.

Patay na patay kasi ito sa kanya. Alam ng buong klase iyon at palagi silang tinutukso pero wala lang iyon sa kanya. He doesn't feel a thing for her. Madalas umiyak sa akin ang kaibigan ko dahil doon. Noong una, naiirita ako pero noong tumagal, I found myself listening and hanging on to every word about him.

Hanggang sa unti-unti akong nahulog. And I was actually glad na hindi niya nagustuhan ang kaibigan ko. Truth be told, he's too good for her. But he's also too good for me. So hindi ako umasa. I was silently crushing on him, but every day was a battle with myself.

I didn't want to like him.

But the heart is an involuntary muscle. It doesn't listen. It does not stop when it needs to stop. Needless to say, I continued falling.

Second year college nang maging magkaibigan kami. Madalas kaming magkausap sa Facebook. Palagi syang naggu-good morning sa'kin tuwing umaga. Palagi niya akong sinusubukang kausapin sa klase. I caught him looking at me a few times. I tried not to read too much into it. Baka kasi ma-disappoint lang ako.