Awaken | ✔️

17. Confusion

"I could sense where you've been the most, your energy trail," he answered my question in a quiet tone, as if he didn't care. My eyes widened as he opened the top drawer of my desk, and he went exactly for what I thought he was looking for.

He pulled it out carefully and unfolded it. He shook his head as he folded it and shoved it into his back pocket. He closed the drawer and turned to face me. "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"

I blinked twice. "I was more concerned about having just been in an accident." I frowned. "And I didn't want to freak you out. You told me before you left you didn't want any messes to clean up, and it's not like I could just call you and say, Oh hey, there's a scary note on my bed."

He needed to decide quickly how he wanted me to treat him. I didn't like these mixed messages he was sending me.

He rolled his eyes. "I think pulling you out of a car crash already counts as cleaning up a mess." He sighed and took a seat on the edge of my bed. He placed his elbows on his knees and his face into his hands.

The crystal felt hot against my chest, and then it suddenly cooled as he pushed his hands through his dark hair. I felt a jolt through my chest that I couldn't quite place, some sort of emotion through whatever bond this necklace gave us. He cleared his throat. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have demanded that of you. I should've given you my number before I left, I couldn't expect the necklace to tell me everything." Then, more clearly he added, "You should get some rest."

I nodded in agreement, and I didn't speak anymore on that note.

The Atoners had threatened me, and if Clark had reacted this way, then it really must be serious. I assumed he found the note the same way he had found my room, by sensing the energy around it. I pushed myself off my bed and wandered across the room to pulled out some pajamas from the dresser. Stepping out of my room, I went into the bathroom and changed, pulling my hair into a quick bun with the hair tie that sat on the sink's counter.

As I entered the room, Clark was laying across the end of my bed with his eyes to the ceiling and his hands folded across his stomach. I paused to lean against the doorway and watch him. He had a quiet demeanor, unmoving and eerily calm. He looked like a calm statue.

I was quiet as I sat down on the part of the bed where I usually slept, pulling the blanket over my legs. I reached over and sat my phone on the bedside table.

"There was someone standing in the road when Tab wrecked the car," I whispered. Maybe it would be better if he knew exactly what had happened. I didn't want to relive the moment, but if telling him would be helpful, then I needed to. "Was there anyone else at the scene when you got there?"

He shook his head. "It was just you and Tabitha. If someone purposely made you two wreck, well, I assume it was someone who wanted you two hurt." He sat up and looked me over. "I should go so you can get some rest."

I was quiet and weighed my words. I kept it simple. "Don't go."

He absolutely terrified me, but he was the only person I trusted. Someone could waltz right into my room and try to kill me, but if he was here I could sleep comfortably. Maybe not completely comfortably, but more comfortable than being scared of strangers. This is for my comfort, my thoughts tried to convince myself. If I kept repeating it, maybe I would believe it. It was nothing more, but I didn't know if I believed myself.

I had definitely missed him when he was gone. As he sat at the edge of my bed, my heart thrummed against my chest and my pulse thumped in my veins. His dark hair was a mess from where he'd laid, and his shirt was askew, exposing one of his collarbones.

I turned onto my side and put my head against my pillow. The bed stayed weighted where he sat.

A few minutes passed before he moved, and it felt like each of those moments had taken centuries. He pulled himself further up on the bed and laid in the spot directly in front of me. He rolled to his side as he watched me, and I watched him in return.

Our eyes stayed on each other. I had to remind myself to breath.

"This is a dangerous game," I whispered. I knew what he was, but I was more scared of the feelings that rushed through me every time he looked at me. I wasn't even sure what those feelings were that made my chest feel like a thousand sparks had been lit inside.

His lip quirked up. "I didn't know this was a game."

I sighed. "You know what I mean." Though I wasn't completely sure what I meant, I didn't know what else to say. My breath caught in my throat as his blue eyes met mine again, sending a chill straight through me.

He reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, and my cheeks warmed under his gentle touch. I didn't care how cliche the move was, it made me shiver every time. He thumb trailed the edge of my jawline again.

"I want you to kiss me again." I said it before I could stop myself. The way his hand felt on my face, and the way his eyes stayed on me made me want nothing more. I could curse myself for being so silly, yet I couldn't deny the way my entire body felt energized around him. I couldn't explain the feeling any other way than electricity pumping through my veins. When I was close to him, I felt completely magnetized.

What had gotten into me? I'd never felt like this around anyone in my entire life, yet he held something over me. Every fiber of my being wanted to push him away, and I was overpowered by an ebbing desire to be closer to him.

His pressed his hand against my neck, his fingers tangling with the hairs at the bottom of my head. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across my lips. "You're right, you are playing a very dangerous game." His breath was warm against my lips.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to me, and he chuckled.

"I never knew you were so feisty." He pecked my lips again.

I pressed my forehead against his. "You seem to think you know everything about me."

"I suppose I was wrong, then," he whispered.

Without any other words, we kissed again. It was like a thousand fireworks had been set off in my heart. I did my best to push away all the worries forming inside my stomach. Was I kissing him right? Did I even know how to kiss right? All of it did and didn't matter at the same time as our lips moved against each other.

What did this make us? I was scared to ask.

The kissing slowed, and he rest his head against my pillow, but he didn't move his hand away from my face. He traced my bottom lip with his thumb before he put his hand under his head.

I didn't want to admit that I missed his touch.

"Go to sleep." His voice was soft but there was a bit of breathlessness to his tone.

I closed my eyes, acutely aware of his presence beside me. The air felt comfortably warm, I could practically feel the power rolling off of him, and I reveled in it. The crystal that still hung against my chest felt hot, but it didn't sting. I scooted a bit closer to him and tucked my head under his chin, and he put one arm over me. The blanket still separated us, but I felt closer to him than I had before.

As I began to lull into my dreams, his voice murmured into my mind, Goodnight, Beth.