My Reality (DDLC Monika Fanfiction) ~discontinued~

Chapter 32 - Everyday

I sit in that void, completely motionless feeling those audio-waves pulsate against my head. My mind starts to comprehend everything that's lead up to this point. Sayori...ropes...nooses...knives...

Everything in this sick twisted world. This, "world", that isn't even real. Then my mind flickers back to Andre. Does he even...care about me? 

Well, of course he does, look at how many times he'd talked to you in the club!

Not even that but, why do I even care?

It's no surprise to me that I love him, I've known that since I've met him. But why? 

It takes me a few minutes to realize that it could all be because of the game itself, not giving him the option to be with me. 

How could I let him know then? 

There's no other way.

I turn around to glance at the screen before getting up to do something I've always wanted to do. I inexplicably get an idea.

Secret Poems...

Maybe Andre'll think it was some aspect of the game he never knew about...

Regardless, I open up a new document and begin typing. It's very simple, nothing like a regular poem we'd usually give in the club:

                  STARE AT THE DOT TO REVEAL A SPECIAL MESSAGE

After typing, I use the paint tool to draw an arrow and a small round dot. I type again, what he'll see after a few seconds of him looking.

                  STARE AT THE DOT TO REVEAL A SPECIAL MESSAGE

                                                                  i love you

I anxiously type it out, my hands practically shaking. I can't help but wonder if he'll know it was me...does he have a clue at all that I've been doing this?

Nevertheless, I issue the pop-up into the game as soon as his walking-home-from-school monologue is over.

                                                     You have unlocked a special poem. 
                                                                 Would you like to read it?                                          

                                                               Yes                                          No

He clicks yes and, reads my poem. I wonder what he thinks...

How would a person feel if a video game character told them they loved them? 

I can't help thinking that he'd be oblivious. And I somehow hope he's oblivious to all of this, too. He just thinks it's some sweet part of the game. This...is a dating simulator, after all. I just hope that nothing goes wrong...I hope that I'll get to spend this week with him.

Even if he spends some of his time with the other girls...

Even if I already know how Natsuki loves him...

I turn back towards the screen, not wanting to bother with anxious spying. Maybe it'd be better if I wasn't up in everyone else's business. I think of Andre again, writing his poem. He doesn't have to worry about audio-waves pulsating against his brain. He doesn't have to worry about someone else loving someone he wants. He could just keep sitting there clicking random words then time will be an enigma, as once he's done it's already the next day. At the club. 

I instead look at my piano, almost hidden in the void's dim light. I'd really like to play it again, considering I haven't tapped a note in so long now.

I sit down at the small piano stool and begin to play my song. Or so I call it. As I play the main melody, I can kind of hear a voice; a singing voice. Well, it's all inside my mind, but, nonetheless. I finally have enough urgency to start singing.

"Everyday," I choke out.

Ugh. That sounds horrible. Absolutely horrible. You'll never be a good singer, Monika. 

Doubtably, I ignore my mental retort and continue singing.

"...I wish there was a world where I belonged to you..."

My voice sounds dry and chalky. Andre'll never be happy with this attempt! 

"Ooh-AHH!!" I exclaim angrily, loosing my newly claimed sanity and slamming my elbows into the keys. 

I could never write a song. I'm not good enough. I should just stick to literature...

No, no. Continue. That one, approving voice in my mind begs.

I listen to it and continue playing. The words come easily now, almost as it was meant to be that way.

"Does my pen, only write bitter words for those who were dear to me?" I mutter that line, remembering Sayori, she was so nice but I...went and...

Thinking about that makes me shiver. I cringe and continue playing, humming simple notes now to fill in the rest of the song. 

"What will it take just to find that special day..." I sing the line, still unsure of my lyric.

"What will it take just to find that special day?" I repeat, then I drop my hands from the keys and regrettably exhale. 

How was I going to do this?

No, no I can do this...it isn't that hard...  

I begin to play again, but before I tap a single key, the club comes into view...