last night i had one of worst anxiety attacks so far just thinking about the future . i started realizing things ( more like overthinking but who knows ) and it's rlly always been my fault for my own sadness . my anxiety makes me feel like i'm annoying everyone but then i also ignore them at the same time without even realizing it . i either push myself too far from them to where we're hardly close anymore or i get rlly scared of losing them , so i cling rlly tight to the point where i'm too annoying for them and i get that . i do it to myself . ik there are some ppl who genuinely enjoy my company but it's hard to think that way when my head is wanting to tell me no ones rlly likes u or cares . im so scared for the future bc of certain outcomes i feel are out of my control , but i'm also rlly excited at the same time bc there are things i'll get to experience that i havent before . it's so hard putting my anxiety into words but i tried and i hope it makes just a little bit of sense . i know everyone's anxiety is different but i always wonder if someone feels at least close to how i do about it
