A Different Kind of Triangle

5: A Much Needed Moment

I had been driving all night and I still couldn’t get Mrs. Jameson words out of my head. Why did she hate me so much? The more I tried to convince myself otherwise the more I was starting to notice things. She never wanted me hanging out with them. She used to try to exclude me from Zac’s parties saying it was boys only. Zac being the amazing guy he is even at a young age would invite the entire class so that I could come. She would rather my brother hung out with them than me. It was crazy. She allowed all of those sluts to come in and out of her house, sleeping over and whatnot, but me… someone she has known since I was born wasn’t good enough for her son. It made no sense. I sighed as I tried to stop the lump that was forming in my throat again. I wouldn’t cry because of her anymore. I couldn’t. She didn’t deserve my tears.

My stomach growled just as I pulled into the parking lot of the diner I knew my brothers hung out at. I was tired, sad and hungry. Even though they were a pain in the ass, I knew they’d be there for me right now. Getting out of the car I paused seeing them rushing over to me.

“Alexandria where the hell have you been?!” yelled boy 2 as I rolled my eyes. I said nothing as they all started at me concerned. He sighed before opening his arms to me. “Come here.” he whispered as I ran to him crying into his chest.

“Xander and Za’Covian have been calling us non-stop.” said Boy 3. “They told us about what happened.”

“I don’t get why she hates me.” I cried as Boy 2 rubbed my back soothingly pulling me tighter against him.

“It’s because you’re a good girl Alex and for some reason that dumb bitch can’t see that.”

“Blake!” I gasped removing my face from his chest as he shrugged. “Don’t call her that. That’s mean.”

“She deserves it. She’s been a bitch to you for as long as I can remember for no reason what-so-ever.” he spat. It was no secret to me that Boy 2 didn’t like Zac’s mom. She’d told my mom to send him to a rehabiliation clinic because she assumed he was gay. She was the reason he never came out to anyone but me. He’s hated her since. He was nine at the time and she said it in front of everyone and Boy 3 and I’s birthday party. It was the first time I’ve ever seen my mom throw a punch and it was glorious.

It took all the strength my dad had to calm her. Alexander was scared and crying. I was laughing jumping and clapping. My dad said it was at the point when he realized that I was different.

“Blake, you hate me too though. Listen to what I’m saying. I’m using your name right now. I know you hate me and I know why, but I need you to understand that what you think isn’t how you think it is.” I sighed sitting on the hood of my car.

“Then how is Alex.” sighed Luke. “I can’t understand why the three of you are doing this to yourselves.”

“No one could choose. When this all started, it was better to just keep it between the three of us without strings attached so no one would get hurt.”

“And you don’t mind them sleeping with other girls?”

“Alex, I’m the one that told them to go and sleep with them. Each girl they run by me. I know it all. I don’t care. I love them and I always have. If things start to get too serious we’ll sit down and have a talk. Right now it’s just a bit of fun between friends.”

“What about long term?”

“Luke, I don’t want to think about the long term. None of do. Hell, just the possibility of us not getting accepted to the same college freaks us out. So we’re living in the now.” I shrugged. They were bringing up things I didn’t want on my mind. It was the constant pit that sat in the pit of my stomach and after everything that happened I needed it to stay there.

“Look Alex, I just have one last question and I swear I’ll leave it be. Hate to say it, but I like hearing you say Blake instead of Boy 2.” he laughed as the others agreed and I rolled my eyes. It’s only been three months since I stopped using their names. “What happens if one of them, or both meet someone else and want them instead? What about the friendship?”

“I’ll just have to deal with it Blake. I know what I signed up for and it’ll be my own fault if that happens. I made them venture out. It’ll be hard, but the friendship will always be there.” I sighed tears brimming my eyes at the thought of losing them to someone else.

“I thought like that too sweetpea. It’s not easy. Just be careful.” I nodded my head jumping off the car to hug them all. Being called sweetpea again by them was the last hit to dam holding in my emotions.

“Can we go eat now? I’m starving.” I laughed as they rolled their eyes. I knew they would never fully accept my complicated relationships, but I have to admit it was nice having a moment with my brothers again. For the next month I was going to need them more than ever. I needed to wean myself away from the guys. Just until everything calmed down. Hopefully none of this got back to my mother. She’d probably kill Mrs.Jameson this time.

“For the record,” started Blake as we all sat down at a booth. “I don’t hate you Sweetpea. I just don’t like the choices you’ve made. I know how they end. In the end someone gets hurt. You can’t legally marry them both, no matter how much you wish you could.”

“Then I just won’t get married.” I shrugged the pit growing a little bigger. I could see the exchange of looks my brothers shared, but no one said anything. I would always give up my dream wedding if it meant I could have both Xander and Zac for the rest of our lives.