snape x reader

Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

Time has passed. It's been a few weeks since my last 'breakdown'. Lessons have been boring. I've kept my head down in Potions, and avoided Professor Lockhart. I spoke to Professor Snape and he took all my detentions, he was quite willing to as I can tell he doesn't like Lockhart and probably didn't think I deserved to be in his annoying presence. I'm not usually like this. I haven't been for a long time. I miss how things used to be. When everything was simple. I still got hurt, but I didn't react in this way at all. I feel bad. I haven't been eating much at all, every meal is starting to feel like a chore. People have been nice to me, but I guess I've just pushed them away. Locked myself in a box, where I know I'm safe. Away from everyone. I wake up, get changed, put no effort into the way I look, sit at breakfast, look at my food, go to lessons, draw a little, try to listen, avoid everyone at break, at lunch, after dinner, go straight to bed, try to sleep. Can't sleep. Get up after everyone else in asleep. Go for a walk. Hope to run into Professor Snape. Never see him. Or anyone. Sit outside. Watch the sunrise. Go back to my bed. Sleep for a bit. And do the same again. Talk to no one. Keep a book by me, to read. It keeps me going I guess. I don't know why I'm still here.

~~~

~Dinner - Snape's pov

(y/n) is sitting at the Slytherin table. She is next to some girls in her year. I don't know why she's not eating. I mean, I don't care. Do I? She's just a student, who I teach. Nothing more. Yes. That is why I'm worried, because she is my student. I have seen her sketching in my class. She is very good. She draws eyes. With tears and makeup dripping. They are dark and full of emotion. Like her eyes. Dark and full of emotion. She doesn't wear makeup though, not anymore anyway. I'm not sure why she doesn't look the way she used to. Her hair is in a low bun, and her robes are creased. She used to stand out, but something is wrong. She reminds me of myself. I hope its not Merula Snyde that is making her feel like this. That day I talked to her she obviously didn't feel good. She was struggling to breathe. So I agreed to move her detentions. I don't know why I did it. I would never do it for a student. Because that's all she is, my student. I watch her as she plays with her food, moves it around on the plate. I want to ask her what is wrong. I might. Later. 

~~1.00am after curfew, your pov

Shit. I can't sleep again, how surprising. I get up and put my sliders on and walk out of the dorms. Time for my midnight stroll. The castle is nice at night. Peaceful and breathable. I take a deep breath. 

"Oh, look, she's all alone"

"She can't do anything"

"Merula was right, she's weak"

Voices from behind me. I turn around only to be met with a punch right to my stomach. Fuck. A hard punch. I hold myself. I look up to see 4 or 5 taller boys, older than me. With masks on. 

"Poor, little (y/n), when we are done with you, you're gonna wish you were dead. With your parents and your brother."

"My brother is not dead!" I shout, well attempt to. Another punch. 

"Shut up." One of them grabs my arms so I can't fight back. 

"Leave me alone, I don't want trouble." I say.

"I said, shut the fuck up!" 

Wait a second. This is what I deserve.

"Punch me. Do it, I like the pain" I say, with all the strength I have.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Freak!"

They push me to the floor,  tears running down my face. I want to scream but I can't I'm not scared. I like the adrenaline. One of them starts kicking my side. Oh that's gonna bruise. Fuck. 

"You should be dead like the rest of your family."

"Yea, you're just a little slut."

"Slut"

"Slut"

Words shouldn't hurt the way they do. But they're right. It's what I am. A little slut. Who doesn't care about anyone but herself. This is what I deserve. This is what I want. I want to suffer for my sins. I want them to carry on. Their laughter is echoing in my head. Their kicks are getting more intense, more powerful. Slut. Laughs. Kicks. Punches. Slut. Laughs. Kicks. Pun-

"Get off! Stop! Leave her alone!"

Professor Snape's voice. I've never heard him shout before. He grabs them by the collar and pushes them to the floor. 

"Take off your stupid masks" He shouts. One by one they reveal themselves. I don't look at their faces. I look at the floor where I'm laying down, in pain. Professor Dumbledore arrives with Professor McGonagall, both with a worried look on their faces. She helps me up as they exchange glances at eachother.

"My office boys, Severus please take (y/n) to yours, I will talk to her after" Dumbledore states, with a hint of anger in his voice. They leave, walk away, and only me and Professor Snape remain. I lean against the wall, too weak to stand myself. He directs to his office and begins walking . I try to follow, but I fall, the pain flowing through every vein in my body. 

"Shit" I say under my breath. He turns around and catches me, holding me by my already bruised wrists. I wince, and he notices, immediately letting go. 

"Sir, I'm sorry, I...I don't think I c...can walk," I say with my head down in shame. He nods, and picks me up bridal style. Woah. His hand is on one of my bruises on my side and it causes me to tear up.

"Look at me." He breathes. I look up. 

"Don't cry." He whispers. "I'm here now. Nothing bad can happen to you. I'll protect you."

~~a/n heyyyyyy hows it going?? thanks for reading please comment! xxx