With no information on when my flight departs or what time I needed to absolutely finish packing, I made sure I finished before my dad got home. I packed my last few essentials into a carry on bag just as I heard the front door slam again, this time confirming my dad's arrival.
Even though I was physically prepared to leave Oakland, it was going to take a lot mentally to even think about. I'm pretty sure it would officially hit me when I'm already unpacked and settled in Georgia and then my emotions would be all over the place. My grandma wouldn't know what to do with me. Hopefully she'll just send me right back.
Now that I was done packing I could finally see my room floor and it looked like my room again. Clean, organized, never going to be stepped in again. My suitcases all laid out on my bed waiting to be packed into the car and I made sure my phone was at least somewhat charged to give me something to do.
Speaking of my phone, Jordan was calling. I didn't want to say goodbye to her, that meant it was real. Leaving my best friend to fend for herself in a mess I created was not my best move, actually nothing I've been doing recently were my best moves.
But I answered the call anyways, it would be nice to at least have someone calm me down before I threw my life away to create an entirely new one.
"I would be over to give you the best farewell but your ex boyfriends running mouth got me grounded." She immediately said once I pushed the phone to my ear, "Apparently drinking is only permitted when your surrounded by Jesus and his disciples."
I knew it would've been Jordan to make me at least crack a smile again. Her terrible humor definitely got the best of me.
"I can't apologize for Sam but I am sorry Jay."
She sighed, "I can't believe it took sleeping with Jack Gilinsky for your dad to see that we've all grown up."
"I think it was more or less the cheating part."
"Dammit! Who am I going to share my uncalled for jokes with now? Our humor bounces off each other! I can't replace that." She exclaimed and although I couldn't see her I could tell with her dramatic statement came dramatic gestures, "I'm going to miss your problematic ass."
And there goes the emotional part that I've been trying to avoid, "You can always call. I mean, I am moving states but my number won't change."
"I guess you're right." She muttered, "It just won't be the same as seeing your stupid face everyday. That's a routine I'm going to have to break."
The rhythmic knocks on the door cut our conversation short.
"I'll text you."
I quickly hung up the phone shoving it into my back pocket as my dad's head pushed through the door. He first looked around my room making sure it wasn't the same mess as last time and once confirming that I was finished packing he let himself in and now looking to me.
"Hey." He said steeping deeper into the room, "Everything packed?"
I nodded my head shoving my hands into my back pockets as well.
"Well I went to talk to Sam and his parents." He then said. Great, the last thing I needed was Sammy's parents voicing their opinions about me and what I've done, "Very forgiving people."
"You apologized?" I asked raising an eyebrow. That'll be a first, "For what?"
He looked over to me as if reading his previous actions and reactions to certain things would allow me to understand why he apologized. But he shrugged, "Well clearly kids live a very opposite lifestyle when they aren't behind Church doors and that's what I failed to realize."
I now crossed my arms over my chest staring at my dad, not confused but more or less surprised. I wonder what Sammy must've said to my dad that moved him, something I couldn't even do.
"I told you how your grandparents were." He then went onto explain, "They lived by the law of God, that's what I was taught growing up. When I made a mistake, I was punished and taught how god forgives. When I questioned anything regarding my religion, I was taught again and again that my answers to any questions I had were in the Bible. Maybe I went overboard, it isn't the 1970's anymore. Society has changed. I mean your grandfather would scowl me for letting that one kid into the church doors if he was still alive."
"Jimmy Jones?" I questioned raising an eyebrow, "You know about him?"
He nodded his head, "But I was taught my God loves all, and that all includes Jimmy Jones. My God loves the unmarried mothers, the burdened fathers, my God loves the four teenagers sitting in the back trying to figure it out. I shouldn't be the one to figure it out for you Charlie and I failed to realize that."
The silence between the two of us was not unknown, usually my dad and I didn't have anything to talk about but the energy in the room felt entirely too different. It was a conversation that I'd never thought I'd have with my dad, maybe not for another thirty years when it was far too late for him to dictate my life. And this talk scared me. I'd rather have the birds and bees talk right now, it felt more predictable.
"I don't know Jack's character, I know what I've been told." He continued, "And I thought I knew Sam, I thought I knew Jordan, I thought I knew you Charlie. Clearly, I don't know much anymore."
"I'm not exactly an open book." I say trying to lift some of the guilt from his shoulders. My dad was expression emotions I didn't even know he was capable of having, if the vein wasn't popping out of his neck then I didn't know what the hell he was feeling.
"The point is you should be." He sighed now leaning on my empty desk crossing his hands over his chest, "My inferior behavior is the exact thing that drove Riley away and I cannot handle losing another child because I can't let me mind expand past the words of the Bible."
"Dad-"
"Just let me say this and then I'll leave." He interrupted, "I don't like the Gilinsky kid personally but my emotions should not speak for you, I'm sure deep, deep, deep-"
"Dad."
"-Deep down, he's a good kid." We both smiled slightly, "I just need to work up to that level of trust and respect for somebody, other than Sam, when it comes to my daughter, because I love you Charlie and my negligence towards your feeling and your wants is causing the same barrier that it did between Riley and I and we see where she is now."
"As far away as possible." I point out.
"Exactly." He now got up from his position and slowly making his way towards the door, "I want you to have a voice in whether you stay or not. Just make sure it's before midnight so I can still get a refund."
"Wait!" I called out making him slightly walk back into the room, "Did mom talk to you? Is that what happened?"
He smiled with a exhausted sigh, "Let's just say I'm not in charge anymore."
I laughed slightly at his poorly timed humor just as he left my room. I laughed a bit to myself once he had left now realizing the importance that conversation held.
Did my dad just give me back my freedom?
More importantly did I pack for no reason?
***
Let's talk stranger things season three cause FUCK THE DUFFER BROTHERS FOR MAKING ME CRY LIKE I KNEW THOSE PEOPLE MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
anyways, opinions?
