i woke up with a major headache. i don't know where i got it from but i walked to the kitchen to grab a water bottle then to my bathroom to grab an advil. once i downed it i walked back downstairs and seen emma.
"goodmorning" i let out, "goodmorning" she said sitting on the island. i grabbed a bowl & poured fruity pebbles and milk. i ate it around the island. "how was nicks?" she asked me. "we got high then had high sex"'i said while eating. she opened her eyes wide and i started giggling. "you guys seem like you're in love" she said. i never thought of it, what were we? i was always chanel to him. and he was always nick to me. i wondered what i really was to him. we weren't official. i loved him and he loved me. but what were we.
i loved him, and that's why i did what i did for him. when he paid for me to go to college. he always came through when i needed it the most. now i'm paying for myself to take online classes. i just loved him so much, but we never made it official like how we did last time. "i love him emma, but i don't know what we are." i confessed. "maybe you should ask, or maybe he's wondering the same." she said.
•• 1:17••
it was the afternoon. i was on my laptop looking for jobs. i got a facetime call from nick. i answered. "what's up lil mama" he said into the phone. "nothing looking for jobs, you?" i said. "stop, fuckin wit me you ain't lookin for no damn job" he said. "um yes i am nick, i'm not finna let you waste money on me. no i'm looking for a job" i said continuing to look for one. "get the fuck out wit allat stupid shit bruh put the laptop down and i'm coming over in 15" he said. "good, you can help me look for a job" i said smiling.
"man get the fuck out wit allat chanel foreal, you know you don't need no damn job. difficult for what bruh. i'm paying for everything cause i got everything. WE live like that now." he said annoyed. "still looking for a job, if you comin over hurry if not then let me know" i said laughing. he hung up.
••
"chanel put the fuckin laptop down, you want a damn job? be a youtuber" he said annoyed. i started laughing and he followed. "you just say anything when you mad huh?" i said. "shut up bruh" he said laughing. i finally took his words into consideration and put the laptop down. "thank you, now what you doing today?" he asked me. "ion know, probably take a nap as always." i said. "nah you not, we going out to eat." he said. i rolled my eyes. i went to look for something to wear
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i decided on a two piece tank top and pencil spandex skirt in all black. i wore sandals with them and tied my hair into a ponytail. i came out and seen nick waiting. "damn mama you looking fine" he said licking his lips. "thank you babe" i said smiling.
••
we eventually went to yard house. we sat and we both ordered a bacon cheese burger with garlic fries. i ordered a water and he ordered a sprite. once we were finished ordering we sat in silence. "i've missed you" he said breaking the silence. "bruh you literally just seen me" i said laughing. "ion give a fuck." he said smiling. i rolled my eyes.
our food came and i started eating. "yo lil skinny ass eating too much" he said laughing. "boy shut up and eat yo own shit" i said continuing to eat. he started laughing and recording me. he posted me on his instagram story. we continued eating and paid once we were finished.
we walked around cali. "let's go to a beach" he said. it was sunset and i didn't mind. we walked to the nearest beach and i dipped my feet into the water. "this water hella cold" i said. "why would you wanna go here while you wearing sneakers?" i asked him. "so i can take pictures of you" he said smiling. i rolled my eyes and let him snap pictures.
once he was done we walked back to the house. yardhouse wasn't a bad walk but it was really hot outside. once we were at my house i got in and decided on a shower. i picked out a tank top and shorts. "lemme get in" he whispered. "first of all why you whispering & secondly, no" i said smiling running into my bathroom & licking the door before he could follow.
once i finished my shower & got dressed i walked out to nick sleeping on my bed. i turned off all the lights & i cuddled next to him. i didn't go to sleep. i drowned in my thoughts. just wondering what he dreamed of, was it me? or was it someone else? i just wanted to be his favorite. and i didn't know if he wanted anything with me. was i just a someone who he was interested in for the moment? what was it. my anxiousness died down and i fell asleep.
