[Location: Beacon Academy]
Well, we all knew this was coming. Whenever RWBY is part of a story, most of the time we gotta fuck around in this piss hole of a school. Teenage drama, awkward love interests, a cesspool of unchecked hormones with sharp objects and firearms in the mix. God, I'm happy to have graduated...
Within the school's infirmary, Frank lies unconscious in one of those crappy hospital beds. Still knocked out from receiving a nutsack worth of old man's cane. Also smashing his head against a wall and being submerged in coffee for a short time, but those aren't as funny as getting punted in the balls.
Just outside his room, Ozpin stands by the door as he watches over Frank like some unintentional creep. Taking yet another sip from yet another cup of coffee.
If I may be honest, why do we make out Ozpin with the caffeine addiction? Profe-
Oobleck: Doctor!
Doctor Oobleck literally shows signs of caffeine abuse. Makes more sense to make coffee jokes about him. Just seems like a wasted opportunity...
Anyway, googly eyeing the mystery man from afar, Ozpin is soon approached by his blonde receptionist.
Glynda: I just spoke with team RWBY. I don't know how or why they traveled all the way to the western fringes of Vale, but they are making their way back.
Ozpin: Excellent. Once we have everyone here, maybe we can shed some light on this whole situation. I'm still curious as to how they lost one person for hours in just hive minutes and ended up on the other side of the kingdom.
As he takes a world record amount of sips, Glynda looks over to the still form in the room.
Glynda: So, this the one that's been causing trouble? I must admit, I'm disappointingly underwhelmed.
Ozpin: Looks can be deceiving, Glynda. This man has managed to travel dozens of miles from where he originally was and turn an entire city block on its head in less then a few hours. If that doesn't raise questions-
Peach: Pardon me.
Squeezing by the two is the school's glorified plant teacher and part time nurse, Professor Peach. She makes her way into the room with a medical bag in hand.
Ozpin: As I was saying; if that doesn't raise questions, then we might as well be in a poorly written fanfiction.
Glynda: Well-
Frank: THE FUCK YOU STICKIN' THAT THERMOMETER IN!?
The sudden outburst from the once unconscious man catches the two off guard. Rushing into the room, they spot a half naked Frank standing on the bed with an IV pole in hand. Pointing said pole at a shocked Professor Peach who is currently hugging a wall with her back.
Frank: I DON'T LET PEOPLE SHOVE SHIT UP MY ASS UNLESS THEY'RE FRIENDS OR PROPERLY PAYING!
He spots Ozpin and Glynda and immediately swings the pole towards them.
Frank: Ya want some too!? That's fine, I got plenty for all you queefers!
His continuous shouting comes to an end when Glynda envelops him in a purple force field with her bullshit magical not-magic. Frank, either not noticing or not caring, just continues to shout and swing the pole around. While occasionally grabbing his dick for whatever reason. We'll never know, however, seeing as no sound can be heard through the bubble.
Ozpin: He's got energy, I'll give him that.
Glynda: And why exactly didn't we just let the police arrest him like any sane person would?
