call out my name (billie eilish girl x girl)

all i wanted

inspo: all i wanted, paramore

A/N: yoo so i was thinking of starting another book for billie x reader imagines so if y'all would read that lemme know. i'd take requests for it so if you have any ideas or songs or something message me and i'll write one for you :)

~

I could follow you to the beginning, just to relive the start...

Hannah's POV:

"Billie, that's way too much," I laugh as she pulls out stacks of cash and tosses them in my lap. Her eyebrows crinkle up and she shakes her head, looking deep in thought. She digs back into her bag and pulls out another roll.

"It's not enough, you never know what could happ--"

I cut her off with a kiss, and she melts into it, falling into my lap. It's the desperate kind of kiss, when you don't know when you'll get another.

"I'm gonna miss you interrupting me like that," she mumbles. We both fall backward in bed and stare up at the ceiling, unsure of what's to come. Before, I never really cared where I went or what I did, because I knew Billie would be there. But now, we're hitting pause on us when I just want to hit rewind or fast-forward.

"Try not to forget about me," I sigh and she slaps my arm, pulling on my collar to bring me closer to her face.

"That's not going to fucking happen," she stares into me with those icy eyes that make me feel on fire.

"I wish there was another way," I sniffle, not realizing I'm crying until she rubs away my tears with her thumb. She reaches for my hand and holds it up in between our faces, twisting my ring around my finger.

"One day I'm going to take this back, so I can give it to you all over again, at a big, fancy-ass wedding," Billie makes a promise that we both know could be just a nice dream. Just a thing you say to make leaving easier, to give me something to hold on for.

"Would you wear a dress?" I tease and her nose scrunches up in disgust.

"Fuck no," she drags out the 'no,' and I clutch my stomach in pain from laughing so hard.

"But I'd love to see you in one, mamas," she winks and I blush, forever the smooth one in the relationship. The smile vanishes from her face when she checks the time. We set a time for her to leave otherwise we knew she never would, and I want to rip off her multiple watches and toss them out the window to make time stop.

Billie stands up and I walk her downstairs; everything's already packed so this is really it.

"Okay, I'll call you when I get home and depending on what happens, stay here a little while longer or take one of my cars and get the fuck out," Billie rehashes our pretty vague plan. But it has to be that way because you never know what could get thrown in the way.

"We're going to be okay, we're doing the right thing," I reassure her when she gives me a wistful look that doesn't seem confident at all.

"Okay, well, bye," she waves and walks out the door, just like that. I stand frozen in shock for a few seconds trying to comprehend whatever that was.

Billie swings back open the door and practically tackles me down, jumping into my arms. My hands wrap around her hips and hold her up while her legs tighten around my waist. She kisses me so hard I crash into the wall, and even then it's not enough. I taste her tears dripping down her cheeks on my lips but can't pull away until I feel light-headed.

"I love you," I pant, and she kisses me a little softer, dropping back down to the ground.

"I love you too."

***

~2 hours later~

I feel horrible.

It's only been a couple hours but I started missing her the second she shut the door. I dig my spoon into the carton of ice cream, cringing as I see my reflection in the laptop screen. I haven't stopped crying yet and my eyes are swelling and red. Pushing away the screen, I scroll through my three playlists where I separated her songs into three categories: fire bil, soft bil, and sad bil. Settling for soft bil because I can't take another sad song, I smile for the first time since she left as the beginning notes of 'come out and play' ring in my ears.

I pull the hood of her sweatshirt over my head and tighten the strings so all I smell is her, sweet like honey with a little bit of spice like cinnamon. When the song finishes, I throw the ice cream against the door and break down for the thousandth time, hoping this isn't how I'll feel every day.

The sound of knocking on the front door snaps me out of my crying and I freeze, a smile taking over my face. She came back for me.

I push open the bedroom door but freeze at the top of the staircase when I see the flashing blue and red lights. I run right back in and shut the door, immediately locking it as I try and think of what the fuck to do. I should go down there and act normal. Shit, no, they're probably here to arrest me. I close my eyes and try and think of what Billie would do.

Run.

I don't have time to think of a better plan, so I grab a backpack from her closet and shove some clothes and the money in. Searching through her bedside drawers, I sigh in relief when I see a set of car keys in the top one. Then I run into her closet, overwhelmed by all the shoes and just grab the first ones I see, since I left mine by the front door.

The knocking gets louder and I know it'll only be a matter of time before they just come in. I glance out the window and curse when I see multiple cars; I don't know how to get past them, and I can't stay in here.

Trying to snap out of my hesitation, I quickly grab my sketchbook, smiling a little at the half-finished sketch I did of her last night. Tearing it out, I find a pencil and write 'i love you, bil' on it and leave it on the bed.

The cops voices ring out in the house and I slide open the window, stepping on the ledge. I can't go back in, so the only way out is down. I see two cops still waiting in their car but they don't notice me as I start to climb down, remembering the last time I did this, but at least Billie was there for me. Now I'm all on my own.

***

Billie's POV:

The road is blurry through my tears and I sigh and pull over, reaching for my phone to text Hannah and see how she's doing. It's only been two hours but I'm dying and I can't help but get this sense that something's off. I dig through my bag for it, pulling it into my lap.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I hiss, realizing I left it in the kitchen drawer so I wouldn't have to see the messages. I start to panic that I wasted two hours and just tacked on another four to my way home but then think at least I have a reason to go back and see Hannah one more time.

I smile and wipe away my tears, seeing my reflection in the rear-view mirror. Maybe this break was stupid, maybe I could just... sneak her back with me and stick to the same story, but hide her in my house or something. A gleam of hope brings a smile to my lips and I try to think of a better plan as I turn around and head back.

...and maybe then we'll remember to slow down, at all of our favorite parts