Before I can crumble in despair, two strong arms wrap themselves around me. I already know who it is without looking. "Fuck, don't cry Xena. It's going to be okay. I'm here for you. Always."
I ease into Quinn's embrace and let my tears flow freely down my face. "I miss him Quinn, so, so much. This pain makes me scared Quinn. Scared to ever trust someone and love them enough to bring them into my life. I don't think I can deal with a loss like this again. I don't know if I can ever find happiness again."
"You will Xena, I promise you that much. I'll be here right by your side. Together we will get through this." His voice holds a determination to it, the same tone I've heard numerous times before when he challenges my or Kai to a dare.
"Quinn..."
He understands me.
Hell, he's probably the only one who ever could.
He was right there in the passenger seat when he saw his best friend die.
He was the one who had made the call from the hospital to tell me the news.
He was the one who organized the funeral and all the arrangements when I was switched off.
He was the one who kept chasing after me, kept trying to help me, kept making that effort tirelessly, even when he was hurting.
He was the one who finally helped me understand that my feelings were valid and that I was allowed to see professional help.
And the best part...
He was the one who kept loving me...no matter how much I pushed.
He places a kiss on my forehead as he silently holds me. We stay like this, letting our pain of losing a brother and a best friend speak for us.
After what seems like forever, Quinn speaks up. "I know your hurting Xena. I'm still hurting too. It feels better to cut yourself off from everyone, to switch off all your emotions. It numbs the pain. But Xena, there is still so much in your life that you have to do. Kaiden would want you to live it with a smile. He's here with us, always. Keep that in mind and keep moving forward. Remember you don't have to do this alone..."
His words bring an odd sense of comfort that I have yet to feel since the time of my brother's death 2 years ago. It is a strange feeling, but I welcome it with open arms.
He pauses before continuing, as though his next words may shatter me. "I love you, Xena. Always have and always will. It's not easy now to accept that, I know,
but I will always be here,
waiting
for
you."
Always.
YOU ARE READING
Let Me Go
Short StoryI miss him...so very much. Why did he have to leave me? Why did he think by doing so I would find happiness again? Doesn't he understand...doesn't he get it...he was my happiness. "Don't leave me," I whisper. "I'm sorry Xee. You have to... have...
