You'd think that after pushing someone away consistently or giving them the cold shoulder they would get the message to leave you alone. Well Quinn is a sore exception.
"Just because I answered the door that one time does not make us best friends," I grumble as I eat my lunch in the corner of the loud cafeteria.
But Quinn ignores my words, something he tends to do when I yell profanities at him or basically say anything snarky to him.
Ever since that day, he's taken my actions as an odd acceptance for friendship. From eating lunch with me to driving me home or simply sitting beside me in silence.
He's there right beside me.
And I allow it. I finally have let him come, a tad closer.
Munching angrily on my own sandwich I watch him eat his lunch.
He meets my cold gaze with his own. However unlike the anger blatantly present in mine, his holds a mixture of sadness, guilt and pain.
It makes me uncomfortable, to the point where I'm the one who looks away.
"I'm going after school. Want to come?"
"No."
He doesn't press the matter further and continues with his lunch.
"When do you plan on cleaning out his room?"
This question catches me off guard and I take the chance to collect myself as I swallow my food. "Never."
"You're angry." Its a statement rather than a question.
"No shit Sherlock," I snap back. But I find myself unable to make eye contact with him anymore. He's the first to state the obvious. The elephant in the room. While no one else could, he's addressing the problem.
"Are you mad at him?"
There he goes again with the surprising unexpected. Usually I would have restored to keep mum, but like I said. His tireless pestering is wearing my defences down.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because he thinks he can just come into my life and then lea- ." I quickly bite my tongue, stopping myself from saying anything more.
Fuck. That was close. He can't know that I've seen him. Not after all this time...He'll think I'm crazy!
"Xena?" Gentle. His voice is quiet and gentle. The softness of his tone manages to finally draw my eyes to him.
"Are...are you still mad at me."
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
YES.
Forever and always, I'll blame you Quinn. It's all your fault. Others may think it's unfair but I can't help it. It's because of you I'm like this. I hate you.
I hate you.
I'll never love you again.
But these thoughts don't get voiced. Not even the yes.
"I don't know."
-
Dedicated to beautifulpoetic_ Thank you again for your continued support. Means more than you know.
Thanks for reading!
See ya on the flip side
- Johnny
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