Criminal Minds Oneshots!

Never Meant To Be

A/n: I just watched S11 Ep18 A Beautiful Disaster, and the shipper in me was like. "Angst you say?" Anyway Enjoy~!

Spencer Reid X Derek Morgan

Spencer entered the building at Quantico. He was about to start working for the Behavioral Analysis Unit in the FBI. He didn't know why he chose to work for the FBI. I mean, he has so much schooling, and such a big brain, he could work anywhere. But he felt like he should be in the FBI.

He went to floor six. That's where the BAU is. He nervously tapped his foot as he waited for the doors to open on his chosen floor.

When the doors opened, he stepped out, scanning the room. He looked for someone to help him, and a dark man in a suit walked past, and Spencer stopped him.

"U-um, hi, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid, I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner's office?" He said quickly, examining the man in front of him. Nope. Not again. Why couldn't he just have been normal?

"I'm Derek Morgan, and it's right over there." The man, Derek, pointed, "Why do you need to know?"

"I start working here today."

"Wait, how old are you?"

"I'm-uh... I'm twenty."

"And you're already working for the FBI? What kind of brains you got up there, kid?" Derek scoffed jokingly.

"Well, uh, I have an eidetic memory, an IQ of 187, and I can read 20,000 words per minute." Spencer said.

"Well, I'll catch you around, Dr. Reid." Derek smirked.

"Yeah, bye." Spencer responded, walking quickly towards the office Derek pointed him to.

~~

"Why don't you come out with us?" Derek asked, leaning over Spencer's desk. The team had made plans to go out. Elle, Hotch, Penelope, JJ, even Gideon agreed to come this time.

"Clubs and bars aren't my scene. I thought you'd be able to profile that at the very least, Morgan." Spencer smirked up at him jokingly.

"Come'on! You'll have fun, I promise! And if you don't, I'll be your coffee for a week." Derek bargained.

"You do not want to make that promise. I don't think you understand how much coffee I drink." Spencer chuckled.

"Hey, I said if you don't have fun! Who's to say you won't have the time of your life?" Derek remarked.

"Me. I'm to say."

"Why?"

"Because... I'm not like you. You know how to talk to people. Even if you don't find a girl to dance with, you'll find someone to talk to. My idea of fun is... the complete opposite of what clubbing is." Spencer sighed.

Derek grabbed the pen from his hand, moving it to the cup full of them on his desk. He grabbed Spencer's hand, and pulled him up out of his chair. He then held their hands up high, and attempted to twirl Spencer around, Spencer laughed lightly at Derek, shaking his head.

"What are you doing?" Spencer smiled over at Derek.

He flashed a grin back, "Showing you how much fun you'll have tonight if you join us."

Derek then grabbed his other hand, a swayed slightly, moving his hands back and forth. They made eye contact, and Derek's chocolate colored eyes bore holes into Spencer's honey colored ones. Spencer bit his bottom lip.

"You're not giving up, are you?" He asked, examining Derek's face.

"Nope." Derek said, popping the 'p' at the end, "not until you come with us."

"Fine." Spencer sighed.

"Great! We're meeting at-" Derek started.

"I know where you are meeting." Spencer cut him off.

"Amazing, see you at eight, Pretty Boy!" Derek smiled brightly, leaving Spencer to pack up.

Spencer watched Derek leave, a smile still on his face. Why does this always happen? He tries to act normal, he tries to act like there is nothing wrong with him. But, he shouldn't feel this way about a coworker. He doesn't care that he's gay anymore, but dammit, why does he feel this way about him?

Spencer bit his lip. He could just not show up. Derek would be upset, sure, but he'd get over it. It's not like he was going to show up at his apartment, and carry him out of his apartment. He could say his dog got hurt, he doesn't have a dog though. He could go buy a dog.

Spencer leaned back in his chair, thinking about Derek. His mind wondering to places it shouldn't, it's not inappropriate, but his mind shouldn't be there.

Dancing with him, both wearing white suits with red and green ties, his team around them, dancing as well. A sweet, kind kiss to seal the moment.

But that's all in his head.

~~

Maeve is gone. Spencer knows she's never coming back.

It's been four days, and it still hurts, but the pain has lessened. He hurts for a different reason.

Because he realized... that she was just his protection from his feelings about Derek. She treated him kindly, like not many females have before, and they got along great, and he used this slight attraction to avoid thinking that way about Derek.

And that made him feel so much worse. So much more guilt.

~~

Derek has a girlfriend. The player had somehow gotten himself into a relationship.

That felt like a stab to the gut. Like the words turned into a blade, that stabbed the left side of his abdomen, slicing through him, gutting him like a fish.

But he smiled, Derek was happy, his smile and the look in his eyes as he revealed the news to Spencer were full of happiness and love.

Spencer was still in love with him.

~~

Spencer stares at Derek. He's not supposed to be here, but he's come to say goodbye.

Everyone's left him already, why was this any different?

Oh.

Right.

Spencer is so honored, that Derek named his child after him. But the way he said it.

"But Spencer, is for the best little brother anybody could ever ask for."

Little brother.

Amazing.

"I love you, kid." Derek says, after grappling Spencer into a hug. Of course he hugs back.

"I love you." Spencer responds. But you'll never love me how I love you.

He sees Derek leave, watching as the elevator doors close, leaving the building where his life and family were for years.

Spencer knew from the beginning. He'd never stop feeling those butterflies. He'd never stop craving even the smallest of touches from Derek.

He also knew, that it was never meant to be from the beginning.