eccedentesiast 》ashton irwin [english]

» five

at the moment i passed out, there was screaming in the whole KFC.

finally there's something special and exciting. 

luke could see it from his seat and run straight towards us. me and the guy who's still holding me in his arms. "who are u?", luke asks and looks straight with narrowed eyes at him. "this shouldn't matter at the moment, couldn't you call the ambulance instead? i mean, have a look at this girl. she's passed out and i dunno why!", the voice of the strange guy was worried and pretty emotional. 

luke nods and no second later he diales the number of the ambulance. 

"they're in a hurry and will be there in a couple of minutes", he says. meanwhile calum stands next to us, after he had shouted at michael who still was flirting with the pretty blonde girl. 

that dick.

but actually it doesn't matter. in my opinion it would have been the best if i had died at once.

buut. god wasn't with me anyway. so i woke up hours later in a tiny little room in the hospital. fuck!

slowly opening my eyes i tried to remeber what happend in the last couple of hourse. actually i couldn't remeber. it was like, i was having a mental blackout.

"lia?", somebody is calling my name and i feel some warm hands on my bandaged arms. they found my cuts. urghh

"hmm?", i silently answer and frown. 

"you are awake!" it's michael. i open my eyes again and look into his eyes. he seems to be incredibly worried, but also reliefed that i finally woke up again. 

"u deeply shocked me", he says and carefully pats my arm. "i-i am so sorry", i whisper in response and avoid looking into his shiny eyes. his soft patting hurts. the cuts are fresh and deep aming the bandages.

i was the reason why he couldn't continue talking to this geogerous girl! i am a bad, bad sister!

he doesn't say anything, just looks at me and tries to understand why this had happened. he wants to ask me something, i could see it by opening his mouth, but he's interrupted by a knock on the door. 

"come in", he answers in my position and we both look towards the door. 

luke. calum. and a boy whose name i don't know or even remeber. but i actually know him, don't i?

"ah hey boys. she woke up few minutes ago", michael says to his bandmates and the stranger. 

"how are u?", luke asks me and the others show a worried facial expression. "ehm i dunno fine i think", i said and forced myself to show a smile.

The strange guys pulls up an eyebrow and the others just shake their head. "obviously", the boy says and mikey bomboars him with an evil glance. "sorry" he adds.

I just whisper: "i don't mind i mean you are right" my voice is craking and i feel dizzy again.

before the others can start asking me questions, there's a knock on the door and immediately without waiting of any response a doctor with a long white coat comes in.

"i want you guys to leave for a couple of minutes.", he says and the boys except micheal left. "You also mr.clifford" "but i'm her brother!" "i know but i need to talk to her about a uncomfortable topic and i'm sure this is just something between me an her. but i will call you few seconds later and i also have to talk to you" michael sighs and together with the others he leaves the room and closes the door silently. 

~

"so ms clifford", the doctors looks at me. "how are you now?" he trys to look straight into my eyes but i can't stand it. "f-fine", i answer and convince myself to smile, which works quite well. he sighs. "do you know something?" "what?" "i don't believe it" hmm. i don't say anything. what should i have add? "first off all you haven't eaten that much that'S why you passed out. that's one thing. the other thing", he stops and indicates of my arms. "are these cuts on your arms." i just shake my head. "i don'T want to talk about this. this isn't your part" i know it's childish and stubburn to behave like this, but i definitely won't talk to him about my problems or reasons why i cut myself.

"i knew you would say something like this. that's why a proffesional person will talk to you"

Is he fxcking kidding me? 

"I won't talk to anybody. Just clear things up. It's my body, I can to with him what i want and it's my life!", my voice was less than a whisper, but everthing i said was seriously. 

he looks a but shocked. pahh doesn't matter at all. who is he that he thinks he knows what's the best for me. nobody knows it. i don't know it either.

life can't be planned. life is a big mysterious secret!

~

wow we're at chapter 5 :DD 

u should listen to the song belong. it's perf and fits to the story :))