eccedentesiast 》ashton irwin [english]

» one

so it's me again. the little depressed girl. 

i told you, i will tell you my story. 

so my name is Lia and i'm almost seventeen. my birthday will be soon. horrible. i wish i wouldn't have been born.

too much depression? i'm pathetic. friendly reminder ...

so how do you think i am? 

i think everybody will have a picutre of me in his mind. maybe this person in your mind reminds you of somebody? i won't ask you who you see now.

everybody can think and imagine what he wants. or does.

i think you thought enough about how i look. it doesn't matter, because .. i mean i'm a broken, depressed girl.

of course i have scars and fresh cuts. sad, dark eyes.

and not to forget. 

a big smile on my face.

yes i have it everyday. it's my favourite "thing" to wear. 

people say that a smile is for free and easy to do.

they are wrong. it's expensive and priceless. and hard to do.

it's hard to smile even you're broken inside. even when you know that you would cry instead of pretending to be happy.

but it makes me happy. happy to see that people don't notice my broken visage behind the smile. 

i thought nobody will ever look behind this mask. but somebody did it. oh lord. this boy did it. 

he wasn't afraid of that what i hide behind my smile. that derp. 

~

it's actually not a real beginning at yeah just a depressing thought of this girl. but i promise. the next chapters will be better ;)

dedication to @5saucefeels, because her 5sos preferences rock and let me feel better♥

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