Hamilton Soccer Moms AU

"Bonding" Time

"What's the card?" Alexander asked.

Thomas glared at him and begrudgingly answered, "A jail card."

"And do you have a get out of jail card?" Alexander's excitement slowly grew.

"No..."

"SUCK IT, THOMAS! HAVE FUN ROTTING IN JAIL WITH BALDIE OVER THERE!"

Burr simply sighed and Thomas moved his piece into jail.

"Alexander, please calm down," Washington said.

"I will if you give me more money." Alexander slyly reached into a pile of bright-colored money and plucked one out of it.

"No bribing the banker." Washington took the money back.

"Whatever. I don't need it. I have three hotels anyways."

For a while, the game passed semi-peacefully, well as peacefully as you can get while playing with Alexander and Thomas until disaster struck. After getting out of jail, Thomas landed on one of Burr's hotels and went bankrupt. Then in a series of unlucky draws, Burr landed on two of James' properties, leaving him also bankrupt. 

At this point, James practically owned every property on the board except for Alexander's measly three hotels. It was only a matter of time...

"Pay up," James said victoriously, putting his hand out expectantly for the money.

"Fine." James took the money Alexander had handed him and counted it.

"You're one hundred dollars short."

"Oh, really? My bad..." Alexander looked down at his last fifty dollar bill and searched his brain for a way out of this. And only viable option appeared... flip the board, so he did. Pieces and cards were sent flying into the air and landed to the floor with a clatter. 

"Oopsies..." Alexnder said, feigning innocence. 

"You know I still won. Flipping the board doesn't change the fact that you're still bankrupt," James pointed out. 

"That's not true. You have no proof!"

"He has all of us as witnesses." Thomas walked over and hugged James. "Great job winning, Jemmy!"

"He did not win! Washington won. He's the banker and in the end, the banks always win. Who has the most money? The banks," Alexander argued. 

"You did not-!" Thomas started to yell.

"Enough!" George shouted. "James won. End of story. If I hear another word of argument, I will make everyone stay here for another day."

"That's kidnapping! I'll call the police," Alexander protested. 

"Really? You'll call the police?" George said, calling his bluff.

Alexander simply responded with a frustrated huff. "Let's get this over with. Do the next activity already."

Washington handed out pieces of paper to each person. "There is a name at the top of each paper. You must write something nice about that person then pass it on. Nice. Write something nice," he explained, looking between Alexander and Thomas. "I know each of your handwriting." He looked around the circle menacingly. "Once it gets to the person, we'll read it out loud."

This went as well you would expect it to. 

"James, you start us off," Washington instructed.

"Okay..." He picked up his paper and began reading off it. "'You're the best husband!' Awww, thanks, Tommy!"

Alexander struggled not to gag. 

"'You have a lot of handkerchiefs.' I mean, you're not wrong, Burr..." He trailed off, confused at the odd compliment. "'I like you more than I like your husband.' Thanks, Alexander."

Washington glared at Alexander. "What! You asked for nice. That seems pretty nice to me," Alexander defended himself.

"Anyways, Burr. You go."

He began to read off his piece of paper. "'I like that you don't talk. You're okay, I guess.' And 'Burr more like butt.' That was in all caps but it was crossed out and replaced with 'You remind me of the crab from Moana cause your head is so shiny.' Shiny was in all caps." Burr looked up from the paper looking like he'd rather be dead than in that room.

"Okay, then. Alexander?"

Alexander cleared his throat and began 'reading'. "You're the best person ever. I'm so lucky to work with you. You have an amazing fashion sense."

"I didn't write any of those," Thomas said. Burr and Madison nodded in agreement.

"Alexander, read what's actually there."

"Fine. 'I like when you stop talking. The cat named after you is cute.' That's not even complimenting me!"

"I couldn't think of anything," James said with a shrug.

"What do you mean you couldn't think of anything?! Every aspect of me could be complimented. All you have to do is choose one!"

"Keep reading," Washington ordered.

"Fine, the last one is 'I hate you but your wife is great.' How is that nice?!"

"I thought I crossed out the 'I hate you'. Opsies. Just pretend that's not there," Thomas said. 

Washington sighed. "Thomas say something nice to Alexander. Not Eliza."

"You're okay at writing," Thomas begrudgingly said. 

"More than okay but whatever," Alexander mumbled while rolling his eyes.

"Good enough. Thomas read yours."

"'You're the best husband!' Awww, thanks, Jemmy!" He continued to read while Alexander said: 'Get a room' between fake coughs. "'Your hair is pretty nice.' And 'I can't think of anything.'"

Washington turned to Alexander. "Think of something," he growled, absolutely done with their childish behavior.

"Okay, okay! Um, you're very stubborn." Washington glared at him. "Determined, I meant, you're very determined."

"Good enough. Time for..." He pulled out the list again. "Eggs."

"Let's get this over with," Burr sighed as Washington pulled a carton of eggs and placed it in the middle of the circle.

For a solid minute, everyone just sat there. Then Alexander asked, "What are we supposed to do with these?"

"I don't know. But can't you feel the bonds forming?"

"Sure," Alexander replied, reaching into the circle and picking up one of the eggs. He examined it before saying, "Jefferson, eat it or wear it?"

"What?" Thomas said, confused by the sudden, odd question.

"What's that? You choose wear it? Okay!" Alexander smashed the egg into Thomas' hair. Yolk ran down his curly locks and face. Burr watched with dull amusement, something interesting was finally happening. 

Thomas took a long deep breath before saying, "Permission to murder Alexander?"

"Permission not granted!" But James had already handed Thomas an egg. He chucked it at Alexanders face but it didn't crack open.

"Ouch!" Alexander shrieked. "That one was hardboiled, you moron!" Alexander scrambled to the carton to get another egg but Washington had already snatched it.

"ENOUGH! All of you go home! I give up! Hate each other if you want! Just don't bring your problems to me!" He pointed to the door with a trembling hand and no one disagreed or put up complaint. They left exactly as they had came, hating each other. The only difference was Alexander's black eye.