Alexander

Part 11

I thought about the date but still I couldn't find a reason why to go. My kids would want me home as I don't have time for them. I lost my husband just a year ago. He was my bully and doesn't know who I am and it would be letting him go to easily for ruining my life. But at the same time he's the father of y baby girl. I don't know.

Week later, after I constantly said no to Alexander he suggested we'd get a coffee and just talk and kids can come too.

When I arrived he was already there. I asked for my favourite matcha frappe and after getting the drink sat in front of him.

"You didn't bring kids?" he asked

"No. I left them at my neighbours. About what you wanted to talk about?" I said nicely

"About you and to clear some stuff up" he seemed serious

"About what? You know I can't come on a date with you..."

"You can, you just don't want to. You seem angry about Jamie and Jasper but you know. I never meant it to happen. I still don't know why I got it. I would've given it to you but you're so stubborn..."

"I don't care about the house. It was a home for me only 7 years" I faked like I didn't care " And I don't wanna go on a date with you because...because I still miss Jasper. I think about him everyday. We have a fucking kid together with him. I feel like I would be betraying him" I was honest at that part

" I know" he said and took my hand in his " I know how you feel. I feel the same thing about Jamie. I can't get her out of my head. I loved her. She was ma everything and when she jumped off that cliff because of me and what I had done. I miss her like crazy. How she smiled just because sun was up or how she could always make a joke when everything became too serious. I loved how kind she was and even if we don't had the child together her death still affected me. I was a mess when she really killed herself but after that I realised that I want to make this world a better place. I haven't went on a date for so long. I felt that way too, but when I met you, it's just that. I feel like she would want me to move on and that she's never coming back. It's not good idea to be miserable because they are gone. We managed to be happy before them. We can be that after. Give a chance. Like Jasper said in his will "We should forget our past and "

"move on together" I ended his sentence because it's true. He said that in his will and I really don't dislike him so much. It's just, how can I pretend I don't know about his past and same some stuff about my attitude and pet peeves . I sighted "For you it was seven years ago but for me... only 2 years... I don't wanna know what other's will say. How I'm a gold digger or slut. I don't wanna go trough it. I couldn't do it again" I rested my head on the hands

"Yes, you can. You're Elizapeth after all..." he said sincerely and made me look at him and when he kissed me on the lips... I kissed back. It was so good. Soft, full of care and passion. Hello!I have needs too! I could go on a dates and be his hoe but then broke him and find a way. Something about him, so I could break up.

When the kiss ended I said, while trying to gain my breath "Okay. I'll give it a chance"