trying to save us

i. trying to save us

Unbuttoning his shirt, he began making his way into the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend of now five years. Their place had been suspiciously quiet, and he noticed the lights had been switched off when he arrived home.

Turning the knob of the door, Sean was met with even more darkness. He turned on the light, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No misplaced items or signs of untidiness, the only thing missing was his girlfriend. He was confused, but his gut was telling him to head over to the closet.

It was there when he was met with a half empty closet. Kaycee had taken her things, while he was away at work. He didn't think twice before running toward the kitchen to fetch his phone from the counter.

When he made it into the room, he had only just noticed a small envelope with his name on it, one of their apartment keys laying to the side of it.

Ripping the envelope open, Sean found a letter. The handwriting unmistakably belonging to the girl that was nowhere to be found.

"Dear Sean,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a coward, I'm sorry for not giving you one last goodbye. I couldn't. I couldn't because I knew that if I looked at you one more time, I wouldn't have left. But I had to. We knew this wasn't working out like we hoped it would. The constant arguing and yelling, the lack of trust, the lack of honesty — we couldn't have saved us. I wish we could've. I love you Sean Lew, I always will. I'm sorry we couldn't fix things. Maybe one day when we learn to trust and love again we can make this work, but for now this is goodbye.

Love,
Kaycee."

Sean read the letter over and over again, hoping that this was some kind of joke. He tried calling her, and no answer. He called their best friends, her family, her coworkers, but no one knew of her whereabouts. No one even knew the couple's arguments had even gotten this far.

He didn't get any sleep that night, and has barely gotten a sufficient amount of sleep since that night.

He understands why she did it, why she left. But god, did it have to be this way? Couldn't they have talked and worked things out?

Most of the couple's arguments had come as a result of Sean's job on the police force. Kaycee was always supportive of him, but she didn't know how much longer she could handle the late nights she would stay up because he wasn't home and she didn't know whether he was even alive still.

She lost sleep because she couldn't bear the thought of waking up to news of Sean's death.

But whenever she tried to talk it out with Sean, he'd always turn things back onto her. Stating how she wasn't supportive of him and his career choice, and how she didn't respect the fact that he was out saving lives.

Although, one night Sean had completely drawn the line for Kaycee. It was the last straw for her.

"I don't get what part you aren't comprehending Sean? You're always out late and working the most absurd hours, why can't you understand that this worries me? I'm scared one day one of your boys will drive to our place and tell me that I lost you."

"Well what do you want from me, Kaycee? Do you want me to quit my job? You want me to go sit in some boring office all day like you do? I'm sorry I can't pick my hours and have to deal with real life problems for a living. Some of us actually have real jobs," he spat out bitterly.

"Are you kidding me? Do you hear yourself right now?" Kaycee wasn't sure if she even wanted to fight him on this anymore. "I'm here trying to explain to you that I'm worried sick everyday because my biggest fear is losing you and you turn this all around on me. You can't be serious," she whispered clearly ready for it to all be over, wishing things were how they used to be.

"You know what? I know where this all coming from. You don't trust me, you say you're upset about my schedule and late nights but really you're scared I'm out cheating on you. You're so insecure about yourself that you can't even have faith in me and support me."

Sean knew right as he finished that what he said was out of line. Did he believe what he said? Of course not. Kaycee had shown him since the very beginning that she trusted him completely.

She couldn't believe he'd ever take it this far. He chose his job over her. Defended his career but hurt her feelings in return. She knew they couldn't keep doing this, if he wasn't going to listen to her then what was the point in staying. If he wasn't going to put in the effort to try and save their relationship, then neither was she. She was going to save herself.

Sean finished off the remainder of his beer. Looking around the closed bar, doing whatever he could to take away the pain from the memory that was still fresh in my mind. The whole thing being so vivid he could've sworn it had just happened instead of two years ago.

Had he just shut up and listened maybe he'd still have her. Maybe he'd have a different career. Maybe they'd move into a house. Maybe they would've gotten engaged. Maybe they'd be married. Maybe they'd have kids. Maybe.

Sean didn't need to see them to know the boys were watching his every move. They'd know him long enough to know that anytime he sat there with a blank look meant that he was having a flashback. A flashback involving Kaycee.

They boys loved her as if they were her sister. They saw how much the couple loved and cared for each other, but they also heard of the growing tension and the lost of connection. It hurt them seeing the two apart, but they knew Kaycee made the right decision.

The trio all snapped their heads toward the buzzing on the countertop. Sean's phone receiving an incoming call.

Flipping the phone over, Sean noticed it was his work. He ignored it. He just finished his hours, what did they need him for?

His work kept incessantly calling him, but it wasn't until he got a notification that his boss aka the police chief was calling him from his personal number.

Quickly picking up the phone, Sean answered hoping his boss wasn't about to eat him alive over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Lew, finally, we've all been trying to get a hold of you. Listen, I need you to keep as calm as possible, but there's been a shooting down 5th Avenue. It's a mass homicide, the boys caught that disgusting terrorist, but you need to get here immediately."

"Sir, with all do respect, I'm not sure why you were all calling me if the shooter had been caught."

"Sean I'm— I'm not calling for back up. I'm calling because," he could hear his boss sigh, "one of the victims, you were their emergency contact, Sean. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"No, no this can't be. All of my family is back home and I'm with my best friends right now who would possibly have me as an emergency contact?"

Julian and Josh were listening to the call that Sean had playing on speaker, their hearts fell as they quickly knew who Sean's boss was referring to.

"Sean. It's Kaycee. Kaycee Rice."

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hey everyone, ill try to update this as much as i do my one shot book. don't forget to vote and comment <3