In the Language of the Flowers

| 13 |

✾ Purple Carnation ✾

It was a Friday, lunchtime. My eyes nervously scanned the room. The mass of people before me made me nervous. At my old school, we ate lunch in subgroups, 'advisor' groups that consisted of like twelve kids max. It was a weird, artsy high school where there wasn't even a huge cafeteria like this. So suddenly shifting to a school with twenty-six thousand undergrads in an urban setting was shocking.

I nervously walked along the exterior of the room, still looking. The sea of faces was overloading my brain. I tried to think of Ren to calm myself down, but only starting thinking about the hot, honestly desperate stirring feeling I'd felt in his embrace only the night before. It was agonizing, and my brain kept cruelly reminding me again and again how I'd promised myself I was going to try to control it. But it was harder than I'd expected. I'd never felt anything like it before, a longing so strong it choked my throat and trickled down to my stomach and lower.

And I couldn't stop thinking about it, about him. I'd been sitting in class and noticed that a girl a few rows in front of me had a flower in her hair. Instinctively, I leaned over to the guy next to me--something in my brain telling me that he was Ren--and nearly pointed out how cute her flower was to a total stranger because I'd wanted Ren to see it and enjoy it, too. I wanted to ask Ren what she was saying in the language of the flowers.

My heart swelled.

"You look like a lost puppy." I blinked and turned around, smiling with relief when I saw who it was.

"I was looking for you," I said. "I was just about to text you."

She giggled. Sallie was wearing tight, ripped black leggings culminating in platform leather boots. Her piercing green eyes were made all the more striking by the heavy black makeup around them. The plaid dress she wore fit snugly around her waist and her straw blonde hair was braided on both sides of her head. I remembered, if only for a flicker of a moment, how different she must have once looked. I marveled at her freedom but remembered quickly the obstacles she faced.

"Didn't mean to keep you waiting, especially because you're so cute!" she said, winking.

I grinned. "I wasn't here long."

"Well, good," she said, taking my hand. "Shall we find a table?"

I glanced around nervously. The thought of sitting down among everyone made me feel a bit dizzy. "Or..." Sallie said. I looked back at her. She appeared concerned. "We could go somewhere quieter?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

She shrugged. "I get it, Duckling. My sister used to get nervous around crowds, too. It's not so unusual."

"I guess," I muttered, following her out of the cafeteria. I felt my muscles relax the second we stepped out of the noisy hall and the door swung shut heavily behind us. "I don't know."

Sallie smiled, as always. I wondered if she was genuinely happy all the time or if it was just habit, something her lips naturally did when they were idle. "Do you like sweets?" she asked. "I know a little pastry place not too far from here. There might be some students there, but nothing like before."

"Thanks for being so accommodating. I know I'm probably a pain in the ass," I said nervously. Despite how genuinely open and friendly Sallie was, we still didn't know each other too well. I felt as though I were imposing.

Sallie shook her head. "Nah, I'm glad to get off campus anyway. And you're much less of a burden than you think you are."

I blinked twice at that. "What?"