Bouquet || J.J.K.

8. Hyemi

8.

[ Jung Hyemi]

"You like me, don't you?"

Nervous laughter erupted from my chest, but I regretted it as soon after it came out my mouth.

I don't know what was I thinking. Jungkook has been a total sweetheart for saving me from Yoonjae and assisting me from the police station, the hospital and even back home. Even yesterday, when he helped me back when I was shitfaced drunk at my sister's wedding.

I know damn well that I was a chaotic drunk, my bandmates had told me countless times. Every after parties we attend is a challenge because while everyone loved drinking, they did not love taking care of drunk me. I'd start flirting, or fighting, and I get really physical as in I've heard complaints of Jangmi being punched in the boob, or Minah being pulled by the hair by drunk me, or even stripping to my undies in front of Hera. Every party is a no-alcohol-for-Mia challenge.

But as Jungkook had finally handled one of my drunken episodes, I can't even imagine what he went through to bring me home that night, added that I have hidden feelings for him definitely influenced some of my actions.

Maybe me pushing his buttons right now is just a sorry excuse of mine to confirm if my feelings were actually reciprocated before I tell anyone for that matter. I just made him uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't have blown this out of proportion and--"

"Well, you're not wrong." Jungkook quietly said, his head lowered down as I sat in stunned silence. "I've got to be more honest about my feelings but I'm not as brave as Jin or Jimin hyung. I'm too chicken."

My head spinned as I have yet to say anything, totally frozen in place. Finally, I looked up as he stood up abruptly.

"I'm sorry for troubling you, I should go."

And he left without another word.

I woke up restless the next morning, not finding the energy to get up today.

I spent the majority of the night overthinking what happened last night between me and Jungkook as I stared at the freaking bouquet.

I probably went at it in the wrong way, and made Jungkook uncomfortable when I said nothing after teasing the sudden confession out of him. He isn't even responding to any texts.

Oh god, he must've though I don't feel the same way...

Highly embarrassed of my actions, I finally heaved my sore body up and stood slowly.

My foot hurted less after it was treated, but it still throbbed around the gashes in my knees every step I took as I gingerly dragged my feet for minimal movement towards the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When I was done bathing and dressing up, I went out to the kitchen for a late breakfast, seeing the girls sitting on the table and talking amongst themselves. Sunhee noticed me first, and acknowledged my arrival.

"Hyemi, aren't you supposed to stop walking on your injured foot?"

"I'm okay, manager. It's just a mild sprain. It'll be good in a week or so." I smiled a little and took the seat beside her. I took some eggs and toast, poured out some orange juice and digged in.

"How are you feeling, Mi?"

"You never told us you had a stalker, Mia!"

"Did that filth hurt you?!"

I was overwhelmed by the surge of questions, so I put up my gashed hand to silence them.

"Guys calm down, I'm fine. Jungkook saved me."

As soon as his name fell from my lips, I was overpowered by guilt that I might have made him feel terrible last night.

"Well we ought to thank him, he made sure Hyemi was safe. But you shouldn't stay out too late next time, okay?" Jangmi smiled, taking my hand with hers. "Didn't he stay over with you last night? Did he leave early?"

I groaned, crying out as I rested my forehead on the table.

"I messed up..."

"What's wrong sweets?" Hera prodded.

"I messed up!" I sat up. "Jungkook told me he liked me after I started teasing him and I said nothing and-- Oh, he must have gotten the wrong idea!"

The girls giggled at my dramatics as I drank more orange juice.

"Well, do you really like him?"

I paused and thought about it.

I never fully and literally admitted to anyone that I like Jungkook, as I was hoping that this silly crush would pass after a while. But it's been three years, and if anything, it just grew bigger. In the hopes of stopping the feelings, I've repressed it for as long as I can.

Thing is, though, I might have been an open book with my affections, and they've long picked up that I've liked Jungkook, well, more than friends. Maybe they even knew before I knew. It took a bouquet in the face for me to actually acknowledge my feelings.

"I didn't mean to..." I frowned. "I didn't want to burden him if anything. I don't deserve a guy like him."

I felt the first tear trickle across my cheek as I hastily brought my hand up to wipe them.

I had many reasons for feeling so revolted about the idea of me having a relationship whenever it was brought up. I had too many issues. I still felt dirty; that disgusting prick held power over me for so long through fear, touched places that he wasn't supposed to, and had violated my privacy and trust to begin with.

He made me almost give up my dream. He made me so unhappy to the point that I was certain that I didn't deserve to feel such happiness at all.

I felt so undeserving of love because I have killed that part of me that wanted to be loved and feel loved by someone like that because of what Yoonjae did.

But when I met Jungkook, I felt that part of me coming back to life. His presence alone gave me so much happiness. He had gone out of his way multiple times, whether on screen or behind closed doors, just to hang out and make sure I was alright.

I loved it, but I was afraid of it. I built my own walls because I was so afraid that something so beautiful would be ruined the same way my friendship before with Yoonjae rotted. It would just be like seeing my mother and father get divorced all over again. That's why I was so mad, yet so afraid when the flower bouquet seemed to choose me.

Pairs of hands engulfed my shaking figure as I have finally admitted it to myself and to them.

I, Jung Hyemi, am deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.