Mad Love (Harlivy version)

Chapter 6

"Clarence!" Harley yelled through the slot in the door. A loud clanking of metal came in response as the door was unlocked. She turned back to her patient one last time before leaving. "Take your meds, Crane."

*****

Poison Ivy was ready for a fight. Correction: she wanted a fight. She had been in Arkham for a month now, hadn't seen Dr. Quinzel for a week, and they still hadn't thrown her in solitary yet for her alleged pheromone attack. Ivy was used to being either tepid or furious, this somewhere in between nonsense was beginning to frustrate her. Oh what she wouldn't give for a bat-brat to string up right about now. In the absence of the Dark Knight and his lackeys, Ivy's next choice would be to hit a museum or some sort of banking establishment in order to rid herself of boredom. Money and plants, that's what Poison Ivy was about. But now here she was in a cell, her friend- OK, maybe that's too generous...her DOCTOR- gone, her plants still in a fledgling state...there wasn't anything to—

"Yoohoo! Poison Oaky!"

Shit. She grimaced. She should have been careful what she wished for. "You look horrible, Joker."

"Cruel and unusual punishment. That's what I told them." He spat at Clarence as the guard led him back to his cell.

Ivy took some respite in the knowledge that the clown was still bound in a straitjacket. "Well, are you reformed?" she chided.

"On the contrary, my Wicked Witch of Wretchedness, I am inspired!" Joker gleamed as he was shoved into the three walled room.

"'Inspiration' is not an antonym of 'reformation' you Neanderthal." Ivy was growing tired of this exchange already.

"Ooh, that's a good one, Pammy. I say, the more time you spend out of the sun the more you begin to look like my 2nd grade English teacher. She was a crabby bitch too. So that's two things you have in common. Three if you count her propensity to eat pussy."

"Clarence!" Ivy snapped at the guard. "Do you want to tell me why this maniac is back amongst the living?"

The guard shrugged as he turned the lock on Joker's door. "Dr. Quinzel said you two deserved each other."

"Well fuck her!" Ivy screeched, past the point of exasperation.

Joker cackled. "You'd like to, wouldn't you?"

Ivy's eyes glowed a brighter shade of green and the fern erupted from the small pot behind her. Jaw clenched, mouth held in a tight, hard line, she sent the plant charging for the glass.

"Isley!" Dr. Leland's voice came echoing down the hall. "Pamela, stop!" Ivy hesitated just long enough for Leland to be standing face to face with her on the other side of the glass. "Dr. Isley, don't do this." She panted. The fern halted its approach. "Listen, we all hate The Joker..."

"Hey!" The clown protested. "That's awfully unprofessional of you, Doctor. Don't you think?"

"SHUTUP!" Leland and Ivy screamed in unison.

"Come on, Pamela." Leland continued. "He's not worth it. You're making real progress this time, I can see it. Don't choose this as the moment you throw it all away."

"But haven't I already thrown it away, Doctor?" Ivy sneered. "I doubt my little stunt with Dr. Quinzel is going to go over well with the Justice Board."

Leland moved closer to the glass. "Extraordinary circumstances sometimes require extraordinary measures, Dr. Isley. I'm sure you can understand that."

"A very...enlightened statement of you, Joan." Ivy said guardedly.

"Mmm." Joan grunted, having entered into a match of uncomfortable eye contact. "I'm keeping him near you as a reminder of the type of people who deserve to be locked up in here. Let me know if you see any common themes between you two."