Instincts | Hybrid! Hetalia x Reader

Chapter 21 | Expectations

Idea by Silverdragon23 | Quotev
Warning! ⚠️ minor swearing.
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It's been three weeks—nearly a month—since (Y/N) had recovered from her sickness, however, her housemates think otherwise. Their intentions were pure, she could see that, but she couldn't help but begin to feel slightly irritated at the amount of caution taken around her and the amount of affection pressuring her. They came from abusive homes—she knew that. They were touch starved, striving for the comforting contact of another being other than their own species, to know that they were doing well. They never forced themselves onto her, they would never go as far. But it put pressure on her, and she began to feel closed in.

Her open walls were crumbling, debris crashing down beside her feet and missing her by mere millimeters. Of course, she would never think of voicing her concerns, knowing they would begin to shy away in fear of hurting her—or even getting hurt themselves due to their past experiences with doing something considered 'wrong' and being punished for it. She just couldn't risk it; she didn't want them to suddenly feel as if they had to abide by unnecessary rules. They just gained their freedom—who was she to take it away from them?

They weren't forceful—as mentioned before— nor were they incredibly clingy, although it seemed that way at times, it was just these simple acts that put her on edge. The stories that they tell her, the looks of adoration they give it, it's started to pile on top of her, pressuring her into being something that she's not. The female began to feel as if their expectations were too high for her to reach, and she was fearful of letting them down. She was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, at trying to keep up with what felt to be such high standards, or at least with what she thought they deserved— and to her, it was the world.

So, she did everything in her power to make them happy, occasionally returning small signs of affection, heart swelling with glee at the sparkle of joy in their eyes when she did. When she began to feel pressured— she kept it up, not wanting to worry them or cause them to feel at fault, fearing it would seem to them like she was making such a big deal over something so simple, so she dealt with it. They treated her as if she was a goddess of sorts for saving them and giving them new lives, causing the bridge under her feet to crumble. The sky seemed to fall onto her shoulders, the featherlight clouds weighing a thousand pounds— but she carried them with all her strength, not wanting to disappoint.

...But she could only carry so much.

The stress of keeping up with their expectations started to spill over the brim, the glass cracking and almost shattering with its contents. Not wanting to voice these problems to the group, she knew of one other person who she could confide in, seeing as he too is a hybrid and understands these situations— Sadik.

(Y/N) awakens early one morning, so early the sky was still a deep navy with only the stars to illuminate its dark canvas like horizon, with red eyes and tear stains on her cheeks. Those same doubts had been plaguing her mind both day and night, seeming as if she couldn't escape it no matter where she was or what state she was in.

Having made her final decision, after debating in her mind for a good 20 minutes, she jumps out of bed and slips on a simple pair of leggings, flats and a sweatshirt a size larger than it should be, causing the material to slide off of one shoulder. She barely touches anything else, merely brushing a hand through her tussled (H/C) tresses to make it at least a bit more presentable. She checks the bedroom hallway, sighing silently in relief at the sight of the lightless corridor, signalling everyone was asleep. She turns back into her room, grabbing the pair of keys to her apartment suite before sneaking down the hallway, taking in a shaky and tearful breath before exiting, chest tight and eyes heavy.