Summer In Your Eyes: Seasons Series 1 (Lifeguard!Steve x Bucky Barnes Summer AU)

Fifty-Nine

As they silently mopped up the mess, Steve casually cleared his throat. Instantly gaining Bucky's attention from the simple gesture alone. Steve looked at Bucky from beneath his envious lashes and rasped, "What are you making?"

"Penne Alla Vodka," Bucky answered, directing his attention back to the soaked towels.

"Wow," Steve breathed, impressed. Bucky peeked up at the blotchy blond and smirked when Steve said, "I didn't know you could cook."

Softly chuckling under his breath, Bucky replied, "It's not nearly as impressive as it sounds.  The sauce is already made, I just heat it up."

For a moment, the pair just stared at each other. Taking in each other's appearances. Both clearly not their best. Not when we're apart, Bucky couldn't help but internally muse. As the towels started soaking through, Bucky knew that they couldn't carry the wet towels up to the laundry room, it would simply be too hot.

Bucky also wanted a moment to clear his head, so he asked Steve, "Mind running up to the laundry room and getting an empty clothes basket?"

Biting his lower lip, Steve gave a curt nod and made his way back upstairs to the laundry room. Sighing, Bucky sat back on his heels and immediately raked his damp hand through his brown locks. Sitting there, Bucky just looked at the mess on the floor and couldn't help but relate it to the mess in his chest.

"I, uh," Steve started, crossing the living room. Bucky looked over at him, and Steve admitted, "I couldn't find an empty laundry basket, so, I, uh, started the wash for you."

"Thanks," Bucky sincerely stated, taking the basket when Steve handed it to him. Setting the basket on the floor beside him, Bucky told Steve, "You didn't have to do that, you know?"

"I know," Steve reassured, helping place the soiled towels into the basket. Steve shrugged, "But I wanted to."

"Of course, you did," Bucky good-naturedly scoffed.

Steve's brows furrowed and he curiously questioned, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Bucky stood from the floor. Bending over to lift the full basket and balanced on his hip, "That you're a good person."

Standing as well, Steve studied Bucky. And under Steve's curious gaze, Bucky knew that he couldn't stand there for a moment longer and started crossing the room. It was then that Bucky heard Steve softly say, "I don't feel like one."

With his foot on the bottom step, Bucky paused. Almost positive that he wasn't meant to hear Steve's comment. So, closing his eyes and taking in a grounding breath, Bucky chose to carry the laundry basket upstairs to the laundry room rather than going back over to Steve. When really, that was all Bucky wanted to do.

Almost ingrained in his very DNA for him to turn around and provide any proof necessary to convince Steve that he was one of the best people that Bucky knew.

Instead, Bucky took care of the task at hand. Taking a moment longer to gather himself before returning to the kitchen. Steve was standing in front of the stove, placing the pot of water on the burner. Bucky wondered if he'd ever one day experience such domestic bliss with Steve.

Shaking the thought from his head, Bucky raked his hand through his hair once again on his way to the kitchen. As much as he wanted Steve there, Bucky knew that it would be best for Steve to leave. So, stepping into the kitchen, Bucky said, "Thanks for helping me clean up."

Turning around, Steve leaned against the counter next to the stove and nonchalantly shrugged, "Of course."

For a moment, they just stood there. Bucky wasn't sure if Steve was purposely oblivious or if it was just Bucky's dumb luck. After all, Bucky didn't want to have to actually say the words. Well aware that it would hurt too much for him to do so.

"So, um... did you, uh, did you want --" me, Bucky thought, but finished, "-- something?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Steve sheepishly admitted, "I, uh... I honestly just wanted... to, um... be around you."

To hide the small smile that tugged at his lips, Bucky scrubbed his hand over his face, hoping that Steve didn't catch how much of an effect his confession had on him. Bucky solemnly sighed a warning, "Steve."

"I just --" Steve cut himself off to turn and add the noodles to the boiling water. Lowering the heat and turning back around to face Bucky, Steve desperately stated, "I don't understand."

"I can't," Bucky stated. Out of his frustration, tears started welling in his eyes as he explained, "I can't look at you without thinking about her. How am I supposed to be around you when you're with her? How am I supposed to be around you when I know that the only reason why you chose her was because she's here?"

"What about you?" Steve questioned, turning to stir the cooking noodles.

"What about me?" Bucky asked, as curious as he was offended.

Taking his former stance beside the stove, Steve clarified, "What's gonna happen when you leave? When you go to school?"

"So," Bucky crossed his arms along his chest, "Because I don't live here, we can't be --"

"What if you meet someone else?" Steve interrupted, his voice breaking at the end.

Trying to keep his own voice from breaking, Bucky softly, somberly reassured, "That won't happen."

"You don't know that," Steve argued, holding himself against the counter while staring down at the floor.

"But I do," Bucky confessed, "You're all that I've ever wanted."

Steve scoffed at that, clearly not believing Bucky. Especially not as he practically sneered, "Yeah, you dating Connie really proved that."

Bucky narrowed his eyes and humorlessly mocked, "Right. Just like you and Sharon." Clenching his jaw, Bucky shook his head and declared, "The only difference is that I broke up with my girlfriend."

At that, Steve pushed himself away from the counter and headed for the door. Bypassing Bucky by walking through the mudroom and dining room. Bucky tensed. Expecting Steve to be upset by the personal dig. But not expecting him to be upset enough to leave.

Hearing the door close, Bucky's shoulders slumped. Holding himself just a little bit tighter, Bucky couldn't hold the tears back any longer.